JENLISA ~ I CAN FIX THIS, NO, WE CAN . [ONGOING]

Chap 14 ~ Miss and Wait

~JENNIE POV~

" Lisaa..." That's it , I said her name for the first time this 5 months I live with her. I stop her from walking out this room by hugging her from back tightly. She's froze now, I know she shocked coz I call her for the first time.

" Lisaa I'm sorry... Yes I heard that, I heard everything. " I said as my side head pressing her back , my tears keep running down and its make the back of her t-shirt wet.

" Don't leave me please, don't leave me Lisa." Anxiety of the thought she leaving me is hit me. My body trembling now, I know Lisa feel it. She let go off my hug then turn her body around to face me.

" Calm down RJ, calm down please. Now look at me." She hold my arm then wipe my tears.

" Breath RJ , exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, good repeat it until you calm down. " I tried to do what Lisa said, then my body start calming down. I look at her eyes deeply , she so worried about me.

" Listen to me , I won't ever leave you RJ, never. Even you ask me to , I won't do that. Mark my words in your preety brain. Now sit back on bed, let's talk , I need your explanation about your behavior. " She said while look at my eyes deeply, I know she won't leave me but I just scared. Then we sit back on bed , ' what should I say now? '

" Now explain, why you have to ignoring me? If you know my feelings then just write down or talk to me if you didn't feel same way , it's not like I will leave you RJ, it's not like I will hate you , I won't force my feelings to you. Say it if you don't feel same way to me , it's okay , but it doesn't mean my feeling towards you will lessen or even gone, just let me love you RJ. You don't have reciprocate it , just let me and don't you dare ignoring me again. I mad , I mad to myself coz I can't be mad at you. You make me feel something that I never feels RJ , what are you doing to me?. " Hearing she said that make me guilty and tear up again, 'she really love me' but I composed myself and start to explaining.

" I , I'm just scared Lisa , I'm scared , there's lot of ' what if ' in my mind. And the main reason is I.Don't.Deserve.You , I don't deserve you Lisa, look I'm crazy , I'm pregnant with my abductor , I'm a mess , I'm dirty , I'm--. " I tried explain my side but she cut me off.

" You deserve happiness RJ, You deserve to be loved, you deserve my love to you, you're not crazy, you just traumatized, so why if you pregnant? I love what you are and who you are, I love everything about you, I already love sweetie pie , sweetie pie is like my own baby, you're not a mess , you my happiness, and you're not dirty coz you're angel to me you're my sunshine. " Her word touched me , I don't know what to say anymore. I'm crying hard now , I buried my head into my hand.

Lisa hug me , my hand hugging her waist and I buried my head on her neck , she placed her right hand in my back and her left hand stroke my hair softly. 'I miss her touch'

" Hey you promised me! Did you already forgot your Promise? You said you will lessen it RJ. Hushh now RJ, don't stressing yourself too much . Tomorrow we will visit wendy again right , so it's our 4 time meeting her. I'm excited to see our sweetie pie. " I tried to stoping my self from crying , then she said OUR I don't know why it's make my heart beat skiped.

" I'm sorry Lisa, I ignoring you coz I think it will make your feelings lessen , I don't know if I ended hurting you this hard, I never saw you cried like this , and it's hurt me too. Im sorry , Im sorry Lisa. " I apologize to her again and again .

" Hey it's okay, but don't do it again please. It's suck you know, I miss you RJ. I miss your hug , I miss your hug while we sleep , I miss you sniffing my neck , sniffing my scent. I miss you. " She said while kissing my head repeatedly .