Trying to find home

36

Make sure you go read 'Broken' so that this chapter can make sense. Also, if it doesn't exactly match up, bare with me because my memory is so shitty and it's been a while since I watched this episode.

TW: Gore, panic attacks, self harm, drugs

"What the fuck do mean we can't catch the leader?" I practically yelled into the coms. 

"If you do, it will change the future and we can't let that happen!" Abigail answered me, making me huff in annoyance. I don't think I've ever let someone get away before. I've never had a reason to. 

"Do they get the thing they're trying to steal?" I call, diving toward them. 

"No, you can stop them from doing that." I sighed in relief. At least I could do something. 

I swooped down, slamming my body into the truck. It startled everyone inside and on top of it as I darted away. I watched as Abigail and Barry grab the civilians in the truck and leave them on the side of the road. It was the safest place for them to be right now.

I dropped on top of the car with the thing they wanted to steal in it, staring at the masked figures. They all froze, all facing me again. I raised my head to the sky, releasing a loud animalistic shriek, making them all stumble back.

I watched in slight amusement as they turned on their heals and ran away. I didn't bother to watch them drive away, instead sliding into the truck I was sitting on top of. It was still rolling forward, so I hit the brakes to make it jerk to a stop. 

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be!" I called out to Abigail and Barry as I jumped out of the car. They were both standing back by the two guys, so I sighed and ran to join them.

"I already told you, I can't change the future here because it could end worse than what it already was!" Abigail yelled as the two guys in the background looked confused. That's when I noticed who the left one was.

I could hear the two of them arguing next to me, but all I could focus on was Him. He looked just like..... oh god. It felt like I was about to throw up everything I've ever eaten. He was slightly different, but it was still Him. The doctor that had haunted my dreams since I was eight. The man who called me Monster. The man who was behind it all. The man who watched with curiosity in his eyes as I screamed in pain from my arm getting ripped open. The man who made me like this.

I knew that it wasn't actually Him. I knew it was just a guy from another world who looked like Him, or was this worlds version of Him, but it still made me want to run. It made me want to fight. 

I felt myself take a step back, unable to do anything else. Another step. Another. Suddenly, I was in the air. I didn't even notice I was flying. I didn't know where I was going, just getting away. I could hear Barry and Abigail calling out to me through the coms, but I just ripped it out. Everything sounded like Him.

I crashed to the ground in a dark back alley, hiding myself behind a dumpster. My suit faded away and my limbs hid themselves. I didn't want to feel like a monster anymore. 

"Do you ever think they'll like you like this? HUH?!" I whimpered at the loud voice that sounded through my head.

"They're my family," I whispered. "They love me."