Guilt

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“Angelica, wait,” Her sister desperately calls out for her, pulling on her cape.

“Eliza, leave me alone.” She says raising her voice pulling her cape from her friend's hold. “I don’t want to talk to you right now, you can’t help me...no one can.” She says softly and her sister takes a step back and sighs.

“Fine, just promise me you’ll go straight home.” Eliza pleads, worrying about the girl and her alcoholic past. She trusts her sister, she’s been sober for so long but witnessing what she did and only being able to watch could set anybody off.

“I promise,” Angelica mumbles, just ready to fly home and take off her superhero gear.

“Okay bye, love you.” Eliza says but Angelica doesn’t hear anything after 'okay' because she jets off after hearing Eliza say it.

She knows her sister was only trying to help, but Eliza couldn’t help her, she just wouldn’t get it. Angelica had watched as a woman screamed for help, grasping at her hand, and she had been so close to saving her. But the black hole would only let Angelica get so close before both of them were sucked in and gone forever.

But after seeing that woman beg for help Angelica wished the black hole had sucked her in, at least she wouldn’t have to remember that moment for the rest of her life.

She’s pulled out of her miserable thoughts when the flashing lights of a Vegas bar blind her. Her subconscious thoughts must have brought her here. She had gone there often when she had a tough day or just a day. She had just been miserable with her life so she had drowned her sorrows in alcohol.

She takes in a deep breath before swiftly turning around and flying off to her home. She gets home in record time, she doesn't think she has ever flown so fast, but then again she had never been the cause of someone's death.

Landing on her balcony with a thud, she pulls open the sliding door before walking into her apartment. Her eyes burning with the tears begging to be let out, but she isn't going to cry, not now.

She rips off her battle gear and changes into something more comfortable, and somehow her thoughts drift to when she first got her powers.

It had scared her at first, these new capabilities. Sure superpowers were the norm in this life, but Angelica had always believed herself to be ordinary. So imagine her surprise when her hands had started to heat up and her eyes had turned a red firey color.

After she had discovered them she had decided to keep them a secret and do nothing with them. She had been a drunk and Angelica had been completely convinced she would do more harm than good.

But she:d almost killed a rando on the street in a justified outburst of rage, he had decided to touch her ass. And still, she had known it was the best to get help for her alcoholism after almost killing someone in a drunken and angry state. She had gone away for one year, first to a rehabiltion center, then to a camp for people with abilities like her. There she had learned how to control her powers, along with the urge to drink. 

Angelica came back brand new, ready to do something meaningful with her life, and that’s how she became Wildfire. It was fun at first but then it became serious, and after losing that woman she was seriously wondering if she had what it took to be a hero.

Angelica sighs before she heads to her fridge. She yanks the door open and gets out a half-eaten chocolate cake and shuffles over to her worn-out leather couch sinking into it.

She’s about to take a bite when a knock at the door stops her. She sits in silence, not even daring to breathe, hoping whoever is at the door will leave so she can eat her cake and sulk in peace. But per usual nothing ever goes her away because the pest at the door keeps knocking, this time even harder.

She places her cake on the coffee table and gets up with a huff. She makes her way through the door and she's a hundred percent sure her eyes are glowing that red color they do when she's mad or using her powers.

“What do you-” She stops herself when she sees the person at the door.

“Not a very nice way to greet your friend.” 

“Thomas, what are you doing here?” She asks a little irritated but she can’t ignore the fact that she’s a little glad that he’s the one at the door.

“Heard you were in need of a superhero friend and Firefly can help with that.” He says, giving her a charming smile and making his eyes flash a bright neon green. She just stares at him for a while before he pushes her aside and enters her home.

“Make yourself at home.” She mumbles before closing the door quietly for her neighbors considering it was eleven at night on a Monday.

He situates himself onto her couch, picking her plate up and taking a bite of her cake.

“That was mine.” She grumbles before throwing herself onto the sofa next to him, yanking the plate out of his grip, and slamming it back down on the coffee table.

“So rude.”

“I didn’t even invite you over.” Angelica snaps. She's tired and sad, all she wants to do is eat her cake but Eliza just had to call Thomas over. “Look I know why you came over but I don’t want to talk, so you can just spread your wings and fly back to Gilmore city.”

“I said the same thing when I lost my first person.” He says sadly, deciding to just get straight to the point. “I said I didn’t want to talk but in all actuality I did, I just didn’t think anybody would get it. But you have me, a superhero who knows exactly what you’re going through, so please talk to me.”

She sighs but supposes that maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to talk to him. Deep down she knows he's right, she does want to talk to somebody and she also had believed that nobody would understand it.

“I keep thinking that I could have saved her If I had gotten there sooner,” She starts, her voice already becoming thick with the lump forming in her throat. “If I had gotten there faster I would have been able to save her before the hole sucked her in.” 

“Maybe you could have saved her or maybe she still would have had the same fate,” Thomas says quietly.

Angelica scoffs. “I don’t believe in fate, I could have saved her, I just wasn’t fast enough because I had to make up an excuse to get outta work.”

Managing her double lives is tough but she had never lost someone she was supposed to save because of it. Just another reason she's doubting if she's cut out for the superhero life.

“But it's not just losing her. It's the fact that her death keeps replaying in my head.” She sniffles, letting her first tear of the night fall and that’s when everything else she had been trying so hard to hold in comes out.

Her sobs come out ugly and strangled and she knows she’s making her ugly crying face but she doesn’t have enough energy to care. Thomas doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t try to stop her tears, no he just scoops her into a hug, letting her cry on his shoulder, his baby blue sweater becoming dark from the tears soaking it but he doesn’t care. He just holds her and she just cries.

"Angelica, I know for a fact you did everything you could, you are a great hero and an even better person. If you could have saved her you would have." He soothes.

"I know it's hard but one day it'll be easier. One day you'll be Wildfire again and this will have made you even stronger." He states firmly.

And she believes him. She believes that one day it'll get easier, it may not be soon but someday she will be able to be Wildfire again and one day she’ll be able to close her eyes without seeing the woman’s haunting face.

Thomgelica One-shots because not enough people write about them. Dove le storie prendono vita. Scoprilo ora