𝒴💍𝓊 𝓈𝒶𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 | Sakuatsu

∆•Chapter~Fourty-four•∆

Miya Osamu's POV

Being around Terushima is only getting harder and harder. I love being around him yet it hurts. It's a Sunday as of now and I plan to go home in the evening. I sometimes get so desperate I think of telling him. Yet it's wrong. It's not right to love your best friend. Especially one not into relationships. It's just getting so hard.

Everytime I'm around him my heart beats out of my chest. Anytime I'm with him I get urges to run my fingers down his body. It's getting too hard. I wish I could see him like I used to. I wish I could see him as a friend yet my desires keep getting stronger.

I always believed Sunarin would be it. Even if he's changed, even with his apology, I love someone else. My heart is beating for someone else. My beats for Terushima Yuuji. 

I don't know what sick punishment I've been going through. First I find out such joy I experienced was all fake. All the joy replaced with a deep sorrow. Then I fall in love with someone incapable of reaching. It's unfair. I want to be able to love somebody yet I keep falling for the wrong people.

Teru's laying with his head on my shoulder, watching the frames go by on the tv. I want to play with his hair, hold his thigh, kiss him. Yet I can't.

I couldn't pay attention to the movie since all my thoughts were filled with him. Thoughts of him littered my head until the credits displayed on the screen. He moved up and looked at me.

"Wanna go outside?" Teru asked, to which I nodded slowly. I got up to follow him out the back door. We sat in a hammock with teal and white colors. When we leaned back our weight sinked into each other, having our sides pressed together. He gestured to lie down so I did just that. The fact he laid on top of me didn't calm down my rapid heart. I was nervous he would hear how fast it was beating. I had a calm composure on the outside but inside I was breaking apart. I was shattering piece by piece until I had no will left in me. No control of myself or what I do.

He didn't lie his head down, instead he propped himself up by his elbows, looking into my eyes. The sun melted into the hills and darkness started to pour over the sky. The slight chill of the wind made his body heat almost perfect.

We looked at each other for a moment before he put his head down, resting into my chest. I let my arms go loosely around him and we laid there for a moment. No exchange in words, just taking in the moment. After a short amount of time he moved up. I watched him get out of the hammock so I followed him.

"It's getting late." He stated. Yeah, I knew I had to leave at some point. We stood in front of the door, still taking in the fresh air. Subtle stars shined in the higher parts of the cry. The moon just barely glowed enough to reflect on his tanned skin. The light caused a shimmer in his almond eyes. I couldn't but be lost in them. I was losing my composure. I noticed the way he looked at me back. To anyone the moment would seem awkward, yet the silence was comfortable. Our shared gazes was enough of a conversation. 

I didn't notice myself slowly leaning in. I held his cheek in my hand and placed my lips on his. As soon as he kissed back I used my other hand to pull him closer by his waist. The kiss was slow, we let ourselves melt into one another's touch. I knew when I parted would be when I had to explain myself and apologize. I didn't want to have that conversation, I didn't want to feel the heart break so I kept kissing him. I kept moving my lips slowly with his.

I was surprised when he used his tongue to slide across my top lip. I opened my mouth yet instead I moved my tongue in his mouth. Our tongues fought one another's but eventually he gave it up and let me explore his mouth. My tongue slid across every part of his mouth, feeling his piercing. The feeling, the taste, the moment. It was perfect for me. It was what I desired. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep going until he stopped me. I knew it would only make the situation worse when he did stop me yet it would ruin everything anyway. I'll take what I can get while I can.