My One-Shots

An Unexpected Journey| Fili X F! Reader *Requested*

Requested by Cap-Ton, hope you don't mind that I picked Fili!

~~~~

"Another job declined," I sigh, sipping the remains of my coffee. 

F/n stares at me sadly, "Another coffee?" 

"Please," I sigh, "but to go this time." 

F/n nods before getting to work on my order. 

After a few seconds, F/n brings out my coffee. 

"Thanks," I go to grab money to pay for my drink. 

"On the house," F/n says, refusing to take my money. 

"Your boss is going to get mad at you for the amount of free coffee you're giving me." 

F/n scoffs, "My boss loves you like a daughter." 

I gather all my belongings, popping a earbud into my ear and holding my coffee in a hand. 

"Bye, F/n!" 

"Same time tomorrow!" replies F/n. 

I'm almost to my apartment when my left foot does not connect to sidewalk, instead falls and the rest of my body follows. 

"Umph!" I land on something.

"What is this?" asks a voice.

I look up and see three trolls staring at me, then I look down and see Bilbo Baggins!

You curse.

"I wonder if it would be tasty?"

You quickly climb off the hobbit and nudge him.

You curse again when the hobbit doesn't stir.

You glance around, noticing the dwarves staring at you.

"We could bake her with the dwarves."

"No!  We need to get back before sunrise!  We can eat the girl tomorrow."

You quickly think back to when you last read, The Hobbit the problem was that you read it such a long time ago that you couldn't remember how Bilbo stopped the trolls from eating the dwarves.

All you remember is that you needed to stall until sunrise, when the trolls would turn to stone from the light.

"Wait!" I exclaim, nudging Bilbo once more.

"What is it, human?"

"You can't eat dwarves without doing the ritual!"

"What ritual?"

"Well one of the dwarves must dance."

"You want us to let the dwarves go? Do you think we are so stupid?"

"No!"

"Then why would we go through with this ritual?"

"Because it would be rude if you don't and being rude to your food is considered bad luck!"

"I don't like bad luck," grouches one of the trolls.

"Shut up! We're not letting a dwarf go. You do the ritual girl."

"Me?  I cannot!"

"Do it, or we eat you raw!"

You glance again over to the dwarves who are muttering about the non-existent ritual.

"Um," you pause.

"Are you going to dance or shall we eat you now?" the troll in the middle moves to grab me.

"Okay!" I glance at the sky and see that it's almost sunrise.

I start with tapping my foot to the beat of f/s, then I get super into it and start singing along with the dance moves.

"Ta-da!" I say once I finish.

Silence filled the clearing, the trolls stared at me and so did the dwarves.

That's when Gandalf showed up and cracked the stone, letting the sun turn the trolls to stone.

"Who is this?" asks Thorin, once all the dwarves are free.

"My name is Y/n."

"You're not from this world, are you?" asks Gandalf.

I shake my head.

"Then how did you get here?"

"I fell through a portal."

"How do we know this isn't a trap?" asks Thorin.

"Uncle, please.  This girl, Y/n, saved our lives," Fili comments.

"Fine."

"Does that mean I can come with you to Erebor?"

"How do you know of our homeland?"

"Well from where I'm from you guys are characters from a book."

"A book?" asks Kili.

"Yep.  And later your book gets turned into a movie."

"What's a movie?" asks Bofur.

"Um, I really don't know how to answer that."

"Does that mean you know everything that's going to happen?"

"Yes," I gasp, finally remembering that three of these dwarves die at the end of the story.

Not if I have anything to say about it.

~~~~~

Everything has gone as it went in the book, the Battle of the Five Armies came and went.  Except for one small change, well three small changes.

"Fili!  Your mother is arriving today!"

"Today?" Fili balks.

I roll my eyes, "I assume you forgot to tell her?"

"About our recent courtship?  No."

"Embarrassed?"

"More like afraid she's going to love you more than me."

"That's not possible."

"Uncle already said something about our wedding."

"What did you say?" I ask with a smile.

Fili coughs.

"He ran out of the room," Kili calls as he walks by.

Laughter explodes out of my mouth.

"It's not funny!"

"I mean it sort of is."

"Love come on," Fili begs.

"Love?" a ladies voice asks.

"Mother!" Fili gasps.

"Mother!" Kili calls.

"Sister," Thorin greets, "I see you've met Y/n."

"No, I haven't.  I'm Dis, Fili and Kili's mother."

"I know, they talk a lot about you."

"Strange, I've never heard anything about you," Lady Dis says, eyeing her oldest son.

"Mother," Fili starts, "Y/n sort of fell out of a portal."

"Saved our lives too," comments Kili.

"Well then, Fili why haven't you married this girl?"

"Mother!"