Undeniable (Feitan x Reader)

Chapter 28: The Heart Never Lies

"What...what do you mean?" The words came out of your mouth almost immediately, giving your head no time to process everything.

It was as if you subconsciously knew what was to come as if you could predict the words that Feitan began to formulate. You felt a shiver overcome you, your heart began to beat faster as you waited.

Feitan was not one to often disclose any secrets or suspicions unless of course, it served to benefit the safety of the Troupe. It was an idea that was foreign to him, actually caring about something as minuscule as the hints your father had dropped. Should he say something? Would it be a betrayal to say what he had told him that day? Or would he be betraying you if he stayed silent?

His gaze had been fixated on the details of the comforter on the bed. The wavy, almost swirly pattern of the thread and how carefully it captured the fabric to make it feel textured yet soft. He raised his sight and for a second his eyes met yours. You were quick to look away, anxious at what he would say.

"That day. The day...he came to see you. When you left...to pick up food." He was struggling to articulate what he needed.

"He said...we were in the same 'line of work'....and that I should keep you out of it...I think he tried to say your mom..." His voice faded. He was at a loss for words in this instance.

"My mom what?" you questioned, trying to stay patient with him as you knew he was not good with words, but your tone was faltering, almost losing it.

"I think he meant to say...your mom was a victim of something he...made a mistake with." He finished. Feitan did not know what to do now. "Should I comfort her? How do I even do that? Did I even do the right thing?"

It was always difficult for Feitan to determine what was or wasn't the "right" thing to do. He had long since buried his guilty conscience in the ground underneath Meteor City. It was something that was not easy for him to relearn, but he knew he had to try if it meant being with you.

You let the silence surrounded you comfort you, as you let yourself think about what he had just said. Many parts of you yearned to forget the pain that you were now reliving, and you often bottled any feelings related to your dad. Yet you knew that the suspicions that always existed surrounded your father and what he did bothered you in a way so deeply you could never successfully forget about it. You could never ask your mother about him, as she would always come up with some carefully crafted lie that you could see through. He was never around long enough for you to ask him yourself.

It had been almost a year since you last saw him when your mother died. You did not know and at this point didn't care if your parents were still together. Your heart always ached at the thought that all they ever did was lie to you, no matter how much you knew they loved you.

"It's something I always had a hunch about. What I find strange is how he was willing to tell you more than he's ever told me. Maybe he thinks I'm too naïve, or maybe too emotionally unstable to handle it. Whatever it is, I need to find out." You finally broke the silence, standing up as your paced in front of the black-haired man.

He only nodded, placing his elbows on his knees as he sat in front of you.

"There's always something, everyone has something, a wound, pain that never truly leaves them."

Feitan could see the pain and uncertainty in your eyes as you went on, and he thought "I know Y/N, for me there are many wounds. Not that I would ever tell you everything."

"Parents shouldn't lie to their children. You don't deserve to be lied to." He firmly stated, taking a deep breath as he examined your face.

And that was the moment that you finally understood what was so special about him. What made Feitan so different from everyone else in your life. He had never really lied to you; he had always been upfront and honest about who he was and what he did. He valued you enough as a person to know you deserved honesty no matter what. You had been lied to your entire life, from the moment you could remember. Your mother, your father, friends, family members. But he cared not to sugar-coat anything or hide the truth from you no matter how ugly it was.