Déjà vu (OffGun)

Part 44

A/N: Imagine Gun on this scene and feel his pain of losing his Papii.

Gun's POV

"Papii....Papii.... Don't leave me... I have-" I said crying as my voice cracked.

I tried to hold him tighter with my all might but he started to disappear. He kept disappearing in front of my eyes, despite how much I tried to hold him. He is disappearing little by little into the thin air just like dust. Tears kept flowing down my eyes. I can't take this anymore. I don't want my Papii to leave me like this.

Papii, don't leave your Gun alone!!

Papii, stay with me naa... I need you Papii!!!

''Don't!! Papii!! Please don't leave me!! Please don't leave your Gun alone!!'' But before I could finish my sentence Papii disappeared in front of my eyes.

Time just stopped for me there; at that moment when Papii became invisible. My whole body felt numb, my legs were getting weak. My heart shattered into millions of pieces. I kept searching for him everywhere at the beach. I kept thinking he is there and he will be there. He have to stay for me. He won't leave his Gun alone like this. My Papii won't do anything like this which will make me cry. My Papii wants me to be happy. He wants me to smile. He will never disappear like this. He will never leave me alone.

I rubbed my eyes several times but I just couldn't see him anymore. It felt like my world just collapsed before my eyes and I just couldn't do anything at all. I ran around here and there to find Papii but he was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't even hear his voice now. My heart became heavier as every step I took to find him.

''Don't Papii! Don't!!'' I screamed as I ran around the beach to find him.

"Papii....Papii.... Please come back.... Please.....Papii....Please....." I said sobbing and I kneeled down.

Still, he didn't come back.

I kept searching him. But to my horror, I couldn't find him anywhere.

How heartless are you? How could you leave me like this? Are you gonna leave me, just like that? Is this how it's gonna end? Is this that easy to you, Papii?

"Papii.... You asked me that if I had something to confess or not, right? I have. I have, Papii. I have something to confess to you. Can you hear me?" I screamed as I was crying insanely.

I again started running and screaming my heart out. I kept looking for him. No, I won't give up. My Papii won't leave me like this.

"Papii... Papii.. Please come back. I love you, Papii. I love you so damn much. I'm sorry. I know it's too late to confess but could you not come back to me, Papii... Where the hell are you, Papii?" I screamed but no one answered.

There was no one except me. Only me and my fallen hope.

"Papii.... You should have give me a chance to confess. How could you leave me like this? How could you leave me after making me fall for you so damn hard! Who will I talk to now? For whom will I cook food? Who will play games with me? Who will tell me all the lame jokes? Who will always be with me? Who?? Answer me! Papii.... I need a damn answer! How could you, Papii!! How could you leave me like this.... I hate you.... I hate you so damn much, Papii. I beg you, Papii. Please come back to me!" I kept screaming. But still no one answered.

The beach was empty. Silence was filling the place. No words were heard. Only the sound of my desperate cry and waves were there to accompany me in this loneliness. The weather was becoming cold and colder as the night become darker with time. Night breeze was freezing cold just like my Papii's cold heart. Hot tears of eyes were drying now. Black. Everything around me looks black. The shining moonlight also left me like Papii. Everything looks so depressing to me now. I hate this. I hate this feeling more than anything.

I need you, Papii... Come back to your Gun...

How can I live without you? Did you ever think about this, Papii? Did you ever think that how will I live without you in this lonely world all alone by myself? How could you expect me to go back to my normal life after I fall for you so hard? You wanted to make me happy, didn't you? Then, why am I crying now? Then, why did you leave me alone? I used to smile just because of you. You were the reason behind my smiles, Papii. Why did you leave me after confessing? How could I still smile when the person behind my smile is not here with me anymore?

"Papii... Can you at least hear me? Now, I understand why I could touch and hold you, because I love you. At first, when I felt love seeing you I could touch you only for that moment but when I fell in love with you I could touch and hold you for all the time." I screamed as my eyes were getting blurry.

''Papii, we promised to talk but words were left unspoken. We promised to walk holding hands but the roads are still waiting for us to arrive. We promised to fulfill our dreams together but those only left as a dream.'' I kept talking to myself in this belief that Papii will hear me and reply.

''I am sorry, Papii. I am a fool that I never understood your feelings. I never confessed to you before. And, now that you confessed I am left empty handed without anything. I got everything I wanted but the most important person of my life have disappeared. I am so sorry Papii...'' I screamed again slowly realising that I will never be able see Papii again.

''I love you, Papii. Please give me another chance. Please, let me cherish our moments together. Don't leave me heartbroken like this...'' I said as my heart broke and I realised that I am alone again. And Papii will never come back.

***

New, P'Tay, P'Arm, Krist, P'Singto, Win and P'Bright came running to me. I think, they all heard me screaming and crying like a fool. They are all staring at me. I stared back at them with my swollen eyes without saying anything.

Papii... I can't take this anymore.

"Gun, why are crying like this?? What happened to you??" New asked looking all concerned and hugged me.

I don't want to answer. I kept staring at him without saying anything. Papii, how could I say that you left me?

"Nong Gun, is everything fine? You look so devastated!!" P'Tay asked while carrying me on his back.

Papii, how will I answer your friends? What will I say to them? Papii come back...

"Nong Gun, what happened?? Why are you crying?? Where is Off??" P'Arm asked looking at me.

I broke into tears hearing the question. How could I say that Papii is not here with us anymore? How could I say that Papii left me? How could I do this?

I kept staring at them without replying. I must look like a pathetic freak now.

"Papii...?!?! He just left me... He didn't even give me a chance to confess to him. He just left me like this... I-I need him... Please someone bring him back to me... I beg to all of you.. Pleas-" I couldn't even complete my sentence as I blacked out.

A/N: Will Papii come back to Gun? What do you think?

Btw, I will try to publish the final part as soon as possible. And an epilogue is on it's way.