Déjà vu (OffGun)

Part 26

New's POV

We have finally reached to P'Off's grave. We both are standing in silence now. Cold breeze is flowing gently, the shadow of trees are getting dark and the sky is becoming gloomy. It felt like the atmosphere is also sad and broken hearted like P'Tay. The weather was also showing it's condolence towards P'Tay now. Everything around us was full of sorrow. Maybe the nature, the atmosphere will again be cheerful, again this things will laugh, when the sun will shine but P'Tay can never forget this sorrow and pain of losing his best friend. I will always stand beside him to make his pain less, to help him live a better and happy life.

Silent tears were flowing down P'Tay's eyes. Maybe, wearing the sunglass was a good decision, at least it can hide the pain in your eyes. P'Tay put the flower bouquet at tomb and sat beside the headstone. I was standing there without uttering a word. Consoling him was not an option anymore, sometimes crying your heart out can make you feel better. P'Tay may have forgot that I was there; he was lost in his world with his friend, who was not with us anymore.

''Peng...'' P'Tay's voice cracked while saying.

''I know, you can hear me. I want to say that I miss you, Peng. I really miss you very much. Remember the time, we used to play around, we used to talk and joke like there is no tomorrow. Who thought those days will turn into something like this? I really to want to see you, Peng. I want to spend our childhood again, the good old happy days with you. Why are you laying there, why don't you talk to me anymore, why did you leave us all alone? Why did all this happen?'' P'Tay burst into tears while crying.

''I am all alone now, Peng. Who will protect me from everything now? How arbitrary fate it is, isn't it?''

''Peng, I am sorry for visiting your grave this late. I just couldn't face you. Look, I have wore the clothes and this silly stupid sunglasses that you gave me on my last birthday. How am I looking Peng? Does the colour blue actually suits me?''

''You know, how Arm is. Arm still can't except the fact that you are gone. He still can't except this hard painful truth. He may look strong but I know how much he misses you, how many sleepless nights he have spent crying. He didn't even come today because he thought the wall he have made around him to hide his miserable state will broke into millions of pieces.''

''Peng.... Please come back. We really miss you. How could you leave us in this way?'' P'Tay said and hide his face between his knees while crying.

The rain started to pour. The weather was also crying with P'Tay now.

''P'Off, though we have never meet. But I want to thank you from my whole heart for saving my best friend. You have never even met Gun, but how pure of a soul you were that you saved his life and died because of him. Thank you P'Off for saving him. I am sorry that I didn't bring Gun here today, hope you understand... But thank you for giving him a second chance to live. I promise, Gun will visit you one day and show that your death was not a waste.'' I said in my mind.

***

P'Tay is now silently sitting there. No words were spoken. It felt like P'Tay was thinking about the time they spent together or maybe imagining the things P'Off would say in this moment.

The rain had stopped and P'Tay's crying also. Cold breeze is blowing. The sun is setting now.

But P'Tay is sitting there motionlessly.

''P'Tay... It's time to go now...'' I said.
''Hmm..'' P'Tay hummed.

I offered my hand to him. He hold my hand and stood up.

I hugged him from front tightly. I whispered in his ears. ''P'Tay, I am always there for you, whenever you need me. I promise, I will always stand by your side whatever happens. I will never leave you alone till my last breath.''

After hearing those words he stopped for a while and stared at me looking all confused. Like he was asking for an answer, an explanation why I was so nice to him, when in fact I was a stranger to him. How many days have even passed after we met. I parted the hug and hold his hand firmly.

''P', I want to tell you something but I think it's not the right time. I will you tell everything later, when the right time comes. Now, I just want to tell you that I care for you as a Nong and I will always be there for you.'' I said and gave him a warm smile.

''Uhm.. Thank you, Nong..'' He replied.

It was a brief moment but it felt longer then that, the silence between us was becoming very awkward.

P'Tay once again looked at the grave of P'Off and started walking. I also wai'ed at P'Off's grave and started to walk right behind P'Tay.

***

We reached the gate, the start of the graveyard. This time it was the guard who was sitting on the chair. We both wai'ed at him and he also wai'ed back at us.

***

Now, we both are in a taxi. The silence was filling the whole taxi. P'Tay was staring at the window. So, I broke the ice.

''P', we didn't have our lunch today. I am sure that you are hungry. I am also very hungry. Why don't we eat somewhere together?'' I asked in a excited tone to lift his mood up. But it didn't happen.
''Okay.'' He replied.

Was his mood down for P'Off or is it only me who thinks that he is avoiding me? The silence between us was becoming more and more awkward.

***

We also eat our food in silence at a restaurant nearby. P'Tay didn't even look at me while eating. I tried to make a conversation to make him talk but I couldn't come up with anything. So, I also ate in silence.

***

As we couldn't get a taxi, so we took a bus while coming back at home. Our journey to home was also filled with silence. Is he really avoiding me or am I overthinking? Why is he not talking to me?

I was feeling very sleepy as today was a long day. So, I fell asleep keeping my head on his shoulder. But he didn't even bother to wake me up neither move my head. I couldn't had enough sleep last night as I was thinking how our day will be today. I was super excited to meet him despite everything.

***

''New...'' P'Tay whispered to wake me up.
I woke up and saw that we have already reached at the stop near my dorm. So, I was sure that P'Tay missed his stop.

''P'Tay, have you missed your stop?'' I asked looking confused.
''No, Nong. You were sleeping so I didn't disturb you. I thought I should drop you first then go home.'' He replied avoiding my eyes.

''Thank you P'. I should get going now. Get back to your home safely. Bye bye P'!'' I said and waved my hand.
''Bye Nong!'' He said.

Why was the conversation so awkward or is it just me overthinking?

Then, I walked to my dorm room and went to the bed after taking a shower as I was tired as hell.