Broken- Brittana

Papi

Santana's POV:

Today, I am going to see my dad for the first time since he disowned me. I am shitting myself. I know that this might be good for me to try and explain who I am to him, but it could easily backfire. I do a good job of suppressing my feelings and hiding from things that will hurt me, but today I have to face them head on. I haven't told Brittany what I am doing because if this does work then she will think that it was my doing instead of Santa's.

I drove to my Uncle's house where my dad had been staying and waited for him to leave. My uncle wouldn't have allowed me to see him if he knows- which I am sure he does. He kicked out my cousin and made sure that we all stopped talking to and seeing her. I still keep in contact with her secretly, but I am the only one.

Once he left, I walked up to the door and found the spare key, I unlocked the door and went in. My dad is sitting on the armchair watching the tv, he hasn't noticed me yet. I take a deep breath and clear my throat.

"Papi," I said quietly. This was my worst nightmare, what is he going to say?

"Santana? What are you doing here?" He asked with a mixture of anger and confusion in his voice.

"I need to talk to you. I don't want to be here, but I need to. Why do you hate me?"

"You know why!"

"Why? Because I'm gay? Because I love girls, not boys? Is it really that big of a deal? Did you even love me? Because it doesn't feel like it in any way!"

"It is a sin, Santana! Don't you understand that? You are my daughter and I must have done something wrong if this is who you turned out to be!"

"I don't care if it is a sin, Papi, I can't change it!"

"Yes you can!"

"No! I can't!" I shouted, "If I could then I would have! I have tried everything to not be this! I have hidden from who I really am my whole life, but I am just so tired now, I can't it fight anymore. This life is lonely, it's horrible and confusing. You spend your entire life hating who you are, trying to change, but you can't. You feel like there is something wrong with you! I hate feeling like this! I have done everything I can but I hate feeling so alone! All I want is to be able to live freely, I want my dad to love me. I need to feel loved because I have spent so long feeling the exact opposite! Being gay is not wrong, Papi, it is not a choice. I just want to feel normal for once in my life." I was crying now but he just stood there. I stop shouting because I don't see a reason to anymore. "I know that your faith is important to you, but is it more important than me?"

"Santana..."

"Just say it, I can take it," I said when I noticed his hesitance.

"I want to look at you the way I used to, I want to love you like any good parent should, but I don't know how anymore. I don't know how to deal with any of this. When you were younger, I imagined you hiding boys from me, and when I found them me questioning them endlessly, probably scaring them off. I imagined boy drama and broken hearts that could only be fixed by the love of your Mami and I. How do I do this?"

"So what you're saying is that it isn't your religion, it is your lack of love for me?"

"Of course not! I just don't know what I am supposed to do!"

"Papi, I am still me, I am the same person you raised. I didn't turn gay, I just stopped fighting with myself. I don't need you. I want you to be in my life, but I have Brittany. You don't have to love that I am in love with her, you don't even have to like it, just please accept it. She makes me feel so loved. Even when I was terrified of what you and Mami would say, she somehow managed to calm me down. I know that it is probably too early to say this, but I think that she is the love of my life. I want to marry her someday and I want you there to give me away. I want you there if we ever decide to have kids, I already know that she will be an amazing mom. I didn't want to love her, I didn't choose it, all I know is that when I am with her I am happier than I have ever been. She makes me feel safe and she can always understand me, she knows what I need from just one look and she means more to me than anyone else. She is the best thing in my life, and I know that you don't understand, but if you really love me, why aren't you willing to learn? We are just like you and Mami, we fell in love and have been through so much shit together. We love each other. When I was outed, I thought that my life was over, but she was there and she proved to me that I am so much stronger than I thought. I love her, and I love you, but if I had to choose one of you to be in my life, I would choose her every time. So make your decision, but be quick because I can't wait forever." I walked towards the door, "Goodbye Papi," I said before closing the door and walking to my car and driving away.

~~~~~

Brittany's POV:

I am laying on my bed with Lord Tubbington, he is trying to prove to me that he loves me enough to stay away from his gang, but I know that as soon as I turn my back he will be back on the computer. We were talking when I heard someone knock at the door.

"Lord Tubbington, I have to get this, but if you really want us to be close again, stay here and behave!" I said sternly before running downstairs to get the door. My parents were out with my sister and Wes again so it was just me and Tubbs home. "Coming!" I shouted and looked through the peephole and I opened the door quickly when I saw who it was, "Santana?" I asked, embracing her in a hug. I could see that she had been crying and I just wanted to comfort her. "Come on, Baby, let's go upstairs," she nodded and we headed up to my room. Tubbs took the hint and left so we both just laid on my bed in silence.

"I'm sorry, Britt," she said quietly. I know that she would never cheat on me but I was honestly terrified.

"What is it, Honey?"

"I don't think that your Christmas wish can come true. I'm so sorry!" My Christmas wish? I asked Santa for it, not her... "Baby, as much as he wants to, Santa can't interfere with people's emotions. I tried going to see Papi to talk to him, but I don't think that I managed to get through to him, I'm so, so, sorry. Is there anything else that you want?" She went to see her dad?

"Babe, I have everything that I want right here. I love you more than anything and I just wanted him back in your life for you. You deserve everything, I don't need anything but you."

"I love you too, Britty,"

A/N: I don't know what this is, I just wanted San to be able to speak to her dad the way she did.

This is a short one, I know, but I decided to do two today because I don't know how often I will be posting. I have school and work all week so I will have to try and find time...

Stay safe, I love you all :)