Lend Me Your Heart

One

People don’t really say the words “Vermont” and “hot weather” in the same sentence, but Vermont has hot weather in the summertime. It wasn’t brutal like Florida, per say, but it was gooey and humid. Despite the three staircases I had to drag all four huge containers of stuff up and into my dorm room, I couldn’t really complain. I was lucky enough to be one of the few new kids here at Clearwater to get a single on the top floor of what looked like an oversized cabin named “Humphrey”.

It had a nice ring to it; my dorm was cozy. I had a bed with storage space underneath it since it was raised up so high, wooden floors, a wooden desk and chair, and, of course, a wooden dresser. However, I was unfortunate enough to not have a closet, so I just hung up my dresses on a few coat hangers on the back of my door. There was a full-length mirror on the opposite side of my bed, and although my room was small, the enormous window that overlooked the actual Clearwater Valley Mountains made my room seem three times bigger than it actually was.

After my mom and dad helped me get my stuff up the brutally steep staircases, I thanked them and we sort of just stood there awkwardly, waiting for my mom to say something. But, she looked like she was about to burst into tears at any second, so I just hugged her before any words were spoken. “It’ll be okay mom!” I said, a little too cheerfully. “I promise I’ll be just fine.”

I wasn’t sad yet. I knew I would be, eventually, but right now I wasn’t focused on how lonely I might get here all by myself. I was focused on moving in and getting through all the “new student orientations” and “bonding activities”, which is what my next three days here looked like until all the not-new kids were settled in and classes began on Thursday.

“We’re going to miss you so much,” my mom sobbed into my shoulder. I looked up at my dad, raising an eyebrow like, What am I supposed to do now? He just shrugged and joined in, both of them squeezing my soul right out of its body.

“Okay,” I gasped when they let me go. “I’ll call before I go to bed, okay? And every night after that.” They nodded and waved to me as they made their way to my door.

“No funny business, okay Layne? Unlike all the other kids in your grade who have been here since freshman year, you’re new. Don’t get yourself in trouble and stay away from the wrong crowds. You hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” I nodded. He almost closed the door, but then he opened it one more time and gave me a serious look.

“And no boys,” he added.

“He’s kidding, Layne! Make new friends!” I heard my mom’s muffled voice say from behind my door. My mom always wanted me to be popular, you know, follow in her footsteps and what not. She was class president freshman year, captain of the cheerleading squad sophomore year and both years after that, homecoming queen junior year, and graduated tenth in her class senior year, all while balancing her boyfriend (my dad), a job, and college applications. I could never even think to accomplish such great things. Tenth in my class, maybe. Prom queen, absolutely not. I didn’t really have any desire, either. I liked who I was for the most part, even though my life was so boring.

“I mean it. Love you, princess,” my dad finished before closing the door.

The walls were thin, so I as soon as I heard them walk downstairs, I was finally able to talk a breath and pull out my iPod. I listened to some music and unpacked for two hours, leaving me an hour to eat lunch before the “new student orientation”. I got everything out of my bins and neatly decorated my room.

In the end, it didn’t look perfect, but it felt like my own little sanctuary. I knew I’d be in here a lot this year. My entire back wall was filled with shelves of finished and yet-to-be-finished books, while my front wall displayed my record collection. The lights were the equivalent brightness to those in a hospital, so I had my own, giving my room a softer, more yellow glow.

When I was finished, I pulled the campus map out of my back pocket and started to make my way towards the cafeteria with my iPod still blasting music into my ears. Now that I think about it, I was basically walking around blind and deaf while listening to music and looking at the map, which caused me to, of course, bump into a stranger. Not a very nice one, either.

“Excuse me,” the dark-haired boy sneered when I bumped into him.

Not wanting to make a bad first impression (just incase he was popular was one of those people who went gossiping to all his friends about that stupid, ugly girl who bumped into him on her way across campus), I said, “Um, I’m sorry.”

He just rolled his eyes and continued walking past me, muttering the word, “freshman.” That was enough to get me angry.

“I’m not a freshman,” I snapped, automatically regretting it. He froze, his back to mine, until he turned around and staggered towards me. That’s when I noticed he was wearing a dirty, bloody football uniform; pads and everything.

“Does it look like I care?” he snapped, “Look, incase you couldn’t tell, I’ve had a rough day and I don’t need some know-it-all-new-kid telling me what to do. Got it?”

I gulped, staring into his angry, blue eyes, taking a step away from his intimidating glare and nodded my head, deciding it was probably best not to make a scene, but when I started back to where I was headed, I noticed quite a few people staring at me. Perfect. He was one of those people that made me second-guess what I was doing on this planet. I sighed and continued into the double doors that led to the dining hall, proceeding to get in line.

Today they were serving tortellini with pesto sauce, garlic broccoli, and balsamic chicken breast. I decided it was a good day to stay away from garlic and got a piece of chicken and an apple from the fruit bar. I sort of knew my way around already, but the map helped. Once I got a glass of water, I turned around and thought sitting by myself probably wasn’t the best way to make potential friends, but it was my easiest option. But, before I made my way to sit at one of the back tables by myself, a hand grabbed my forearm, making me jump in surprise and almost spilled my entire plate of food.

“Sorry,” a petite blonde said in a cheery voice, “I was just wondering if, maybe, you needed some place to sit?” she asked, nodding to her table full of what looked like replicas of the same girl but with different hairstyles and nail polish. I bit my lip and nodded, trying as best as I could to fit in, something I’d never succeeded at doing.

“I’m Erica,” she greeted with a smile, pointing to her other friends, “That’s Jessica, Brooke, Taylor, Jessie, Caroline, Maureen, and Amy.”

I nodded, pretending to have their names and faces down pat, but I doubted I ever would.

“I’m Layne,” I said, smiling slightly and sitting down next to…Caroline, was it?

“Isn’t that a boy’s name?” one of them snickered, making a few other girls laugh, but Erica just glared at her.

“No, it’s a girl’s name,” I shrugged, honestly not knowing where she got the idea that Layne was a guy’s name.

A few of them stared at me, unimpressed, until Erica finally broke the silence.

“So, I saw you talking to Zach today,” she said, sucking in her spit like I’d done something that hurt her, “It didn’t look too good. How do you guys know each other? Cause you’re, like, new…right?”

I assumed she was talking about the, Does it look like I care boy and answered her.

“Uh, yeah, I’m a new junior. I just bumped into him and he got really angry,” I said. Her eyes widened and, judging by the look on her face, I thought she might smile, but she didn’t.

“That’s odd,” she said, “He’s usually so nice to everyone. I mean, he’s always been nice to me. Maybe he just doesn’t like you.”

She laughed like what she said was hilarious, while I just stared at her. She saw Zach and I in an argument but she didn’t try to pry my eyes off of his? Because she absolutely seemed like the type of person who would do that, but maybe she just wants Zach to hate every girl on campus besides her.