Anthony Ramos x reader

Chapter 20

Trigger warning- Suicide thoughts/ Suicide (overdose (I did some research on it so I'll try not to fuck it up and offend anyone or get to many things wrong))

Y/N POV

"Y/N! I'm going to pick up Anthony, we're going to a theme park, getting lunch, meeting up with Mario and Stephanie and the shops then at 7 we're meeting the rest of the cast don't forget to get there early." Jazzy explains.

"Yeah I know I know, I set a reminder" I groan. Every time someone leaves the show we get the next day off so most of us sleep in except for Jazzy Pippa Groff and Leslie cuz they plan a whole day for whoever left.

"Ok I just wanna make sure you're there" she says and walks away so I go back to sleep.

*a couple hours later*

I get up and look at the time, it's about 11 now so I walk down to the kitchen. I know I have to go tonight but I don't wanna.

How am I supposed to see him I know he doesn't wanna be friends because he still loves me and he's gonna go on with his life and forget about me and I'm just gonna be here performing and then when the show ends I'll have nothing to do. I only got a roll because of Anthony.

I'm pretty sure Jazzy hates me as well, I moved back in with her and rant to her about everything but I don't know why, I know she doesn't care so what's even the point, what's the point of telling people? of being in pain? of living?

I look around the room and see 2 packs of Panadol. Do it. No, I can't. Yes you can. No one will miss you your just a waste of space. Screw it. I can't do this anymore.

Anthony POV
*an hour later*

Me Pippa, Jazzy, Groff and Leslie are all sitting down for lunch. They took me to a theme park but won't tell me what we're doing next. Suddenly I get a call that interrupts our conversation.

I look at the caller ID and it's just a random number but I answer it. "Anthony Ramos?" The lady on the other line says.

"Yeah that's me" I reply and everyone looks at me confused but I just shrug.

"You're listed as Y/N Cephas Jones first emergency number do you know her?" She asks. My heart drops. I should have known something would happen.

"Yeah.. what happened?" I ask nervously.

"She's overdosed and is currently in the emergency room, if you could come down here we can give you more information." He explain.

"Ok I'll be there as soon as possible" I hang up and the others all look confused I start grabbing my stuff to get up.

"What happened?" Jazzy asks.

"Y/N overdosed, I need to get to the hospital" I shouldn't have let jas leave her alone.

"WHAT" Jazzy yells

"Omg we gotta go now!" leslie yells.

We all run to Jazzy's car and pile in with Leslie driving.

When we get there we see Renee crying in one of the seats. Me and Jazzy run up to the front desk. "WHERE IS Y/N CEPHAS JONES?" We yell in sink.

"Are either of you related to her?" The receptionist asks.

"Yes I'm her sister Jasmine Cephas Jones" She says.

"Ok if you want you can see her but we're not allowed to release information about it with your consent." She explains.

"Yes ok I don't care just tell me what happened to my sister" Jazzy basically yells.

"Well Renee the one sitting over there says she found her in her kitchen on the floor with an empty box of Panadol on the bench and a note so we believe it was attempted suicide"

"is she ok? Is she alive?" I ask.

"Yes but she's in a critical condition. She's unconscious but you can see her she's in room 772" she says.

Me jazzy and the others all run up to the room and see a doctor checking a couple of the machines and Y/N lying on the bed. "Guys?" Renee says. "this is the note" she hands me a piece of paper.

First of all, I'm sorry, but not for doing this. I'm sorry you all had to deal with me for so long and now have to deal with this. I shouldn't have gone with Jasmine on that day I met everyone in the cast. I shouldn't have let Anthony convince me to sing. I shouldn't have let myself get attached. If you're reading this I really hope it's too late. Saving me would only hurt myself and everyone else more. Jasmine, thank you so much for everything you've done for me, I love you so much and you're the best sister I could ever ask for even though I sucked sometimes. WORK. Anthony, I'm so fucking sorry, for everything I did to you. I'm sorry I got mad at you, I'm sorry I kissed Daveed, I'm sorry I ruined your farewell. I really hope you can forgive me Because I love you, and I always will but I also can't live with out you. I can't wake up everyday and know I'm not gonna see you, but please know this isn't in any way your fault.  Again I'm sorry for everything I've done to all of you but anyways pease out bitches see you on the other side.

I finish reading it and I'm just in shock . Am I the reason she did this? I know she said I'm not but come on if I had just forgiven her this wouldn't be happening. I put down the note and sit on one of the chairs near her bed.

"This is your fucking fault!" Jazzy yells and I look up at her, she has tears streaming down her face but she looks mad.

"I'm sorry" I mumble, trying desperately to hold back tears.

"Sorry isn't gonna save her! If you had just fucking forgiven her one of the many times she apologised she wouldn't be lying in that bed almost dead!" She continues.

"Jazzy calm down" Pippa triesto calm her down. As she does Lin, Chris, Thayne, Jon, Oak and Daveed run in.

"Don't tell me to calm down it's not your sister that's almost dead! If he had just been a decent person none of this would have happened!" She screams.

"Hold on someone please explain what the hell happened?" Chris asks.

"Y/N overdosed and left this note" Leslie says and hands them the note.

"Oh crap.." Daveed says.

"See it's his fault she's gonna die!" Jazzy yells.

I don't say anything. I just sit there looking at her. Jazzy's right. "Jazzy this isn't anyone's fault. We get your upset and that's normal but you can't blame it on Anthony it's not his fault and he seems to already feel pretty bad about that" Lin says.

She doesn't say anything back but after a minute she just breaks down even more.