Saviours (Daryl Dixon)

22. Depression

It's been 3 weeks since the incident.
May was pissed that we lost the church and the other two were upset that we're on the road again.
Daryl, Maggie and sasha went out to go see if they could find anything earlier and I decided  it's best to stay behind.
"Thea I'm hungry" rose whines as her tummy rumbles from not eating in days. I nod and lower my head in guilt before spotting the three returning over the hill.
Seems they had the same luck as us and found nothing but a dried up river.
Couple miles down the road and the car comes to a faulty stop.

"Fuels gone" abraham tells us.
"So we walk" rick says determined.
I walk at the back with rose as May and Liam power ahead just behind rick and Daryl.
Daryl glances back to me before claiming to go searching.
"I'll come with you" Carol claims before I could
"Yeah I got it" he says walking off.
"You gonna stop me?" She ask following behind him.
I watch as Carl hands Maggie a box and look down realising I've made no effort to help Maggie.

I snap out my thoughts as rose tugs at my trousers.
"Thea my legs hurt" she whines and I kneel down preparing for her to jump on my back.
She does and I instantly regret my actions.
"I can't do this for long" I warn her as she snuggles into my back.
"I know" she whispers before her breath becomes shallow.
"Great" I whisper looking at the floor as I walk.

"Thea you should take her off. This walk is draining enough" michonne says gesturing to rose.
"I know" I whisper standing with the small group as michonne joins the fighter on the bridge.
The group start throwing them off the sides till they break plan and start killing them on the road.

I watch as Daryl grabs a walker and throws it away from rick as it goes to bite him.
As soon as it's I've we're on the road again and I mentally whine about everything.

"Are you punishing yourself?" Carol asks walking next to me.
"What?"
"The kid. You shouldn't be carrying her" carol says as rose flips her head.
"You talked to michonne?" I ask ignoring her question.

"Yes. She has the same fears. Thea your outdoing yourself it's bad enough that ricks carrying Judith even though she's 2 and your carrying a 6 year old" she rants.
"Be quiet, I don't want the group on my back and it's fine. Plus if I wanted to punish myself I would have slit my wrists already" I tell her.
"But you can't. Daryl told me your promise your not allowed to do anything yourself or he'll do it too and you wouldn't hurt him" she explains and I look down.

"I'm fine, we'll find food and water get back to being strong and after along rest we'll be fine" I tell her and she looks at me weirdly.
"Fine but one sign that your going down the kids getting off" she says and I nod as she continues fowards to talk to abraham.
"Hey! Look!" Noah shouts pointing at some cars over the hill.

"Maggie can we talk?" I ask as she searches a car.
She ignores me and I put my head down as she takes the keys and opens the boot.
I watch her face change and look in seeing a walker tied up.
I turn away as she closes it and walk off.
"Just leave me alone!" She shouts waking rose.
I nod slightly and I put rose down before walking down the road and sitting infront of a tree.

Slowly the group joins me.
"So we only found boozes?" I ask as lucky licks my hand.
"Yeah and that's not gonna help" Rosa says and I nod.
"It's not good"Maggie adds ignoring my gaze.
"It's gonna make it worse" Rosa tells us.
"He's a grown man and I don't think it can get worse" eugene says and I pet lucky to release some stress.

We all jump as shuffling comes from the bush. Slowly a pack of random dogs come out, one looking like lucky. I grab her collar and turn her head away from the pack as Sasha kills all of them.

I swallowed the meat unhappily. Daryl scoffed down his but I couldn't stop feeling guilty.
I look over to the kids to see rose eating it not knowing what it is.
May and Liam had a sad look as they swallowed.
I watch Gabriel throw his collar into the fire and Maggie staring at it burn.
I glance over to Noah and to the collar he's staring at on the ground before a whine came form my side.