The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

Poison Ou Antidote

I wanted to be at home, wallowing in self-pity and this hangover. However, from Joseph's tone this morning, I really knew better than to let him hear that I wasn't in college this morning.

I managed to have a 30-minute turnover when I got home. I took a very hot shower which somehow made me feel better. I was able to muster enough energy to apply some concealer and scrape my hair back into a low ponytail. I looked at myself in the mirror. You would have never thought I had been out until the early hours of the morning last night. As I made my way out I snuck into my mums' room and drowned myself in her Agent Provocateur, hoping that it'd mask the smell of alcohol seeping out of my pores. She wouldn't have been home for another hour, so as long as Joseph didn't say anything, I would get away with it.

Walking into college, I know I should have been listening to 3LW, No More but I couldn't be bothered today. All of my self-pity emotions were at capacity on the fact that I was hungover and had to be at college right now. I had no capacity for wallowing in anything else right now.

Or maybe more simply I had had a drunken epiphany with that random girl in the toilet last night that Richard had been a bit of dick.

I walked into my Art class, settling into the new Dadju album. Only god knows what he was saying as I stopped studying French the day I didn't have to study it anymore in Year 9. I kept any of my usual quips to myself as I knew how easy it was to piss off the French. Everyday, revolutions and riots. Whilst they couldn't hear my inner dialogue, I'm sure that they could sense it somehow, just like Charlotte, and I didn't need any extra drama or enemies in my life right now.

Like clockwork, when he entered the Art class he made a B-line right towards my table. The table that he had avoided all week. I didn't miss Lydia watching him walk towards my table too. I couldn't make out the emotion on his face as he walked towards me. He didn't leave me wondering what he was thinking for too long. Before he even sat down, he had already started speaking. "Where did you go last night?" I was genuinely taken aback. I noticed that Richard didn't have his signature knife-edge shape up. I had hoped that he would behave as such, but, classic men. I tried not to notice how his oversized t-shirt fell so gracefully over his toned shoulders and arms. I tried not to notice how great this white tee looked on his.

I tried to stay focused on the issue at hand.

Still, I found it odd he was questioning me and staring at me as if he had had a haircut. Focusing on this fact made it the slightest bit easier to ignore the sudden thudding in my chest that sounded like a concert hall in eardrums. I just hoped he couldn't hear it either. I took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that he was talking way too loudly for my hangover and prepared myself for the verbal war that was about to start.

I could only imagine Aaron filling him in on the state I went home today, and twiddle-dee and tweedle-dum stretching the gaps of their knowledge.

"Should I start with how it isn't your business, or would you prefer I start with asking how dare you ask me anything?"

"Answer the question." He demanded like a man who had a fresh haircut.

"Let's go for, how dare you ask me anything. That feels like a good fit for your fucking stupid question."

Richard was visibility taken aback. He managed to mutter, "Rah."

"The only thing coming out of your mouth should be a very big apology or froth because the curse my niece put on you worked."

"What exactly am I apologising for?"

"Being a cxnt." A fat cxnt at that. He should have put me back on the rack because he was unqualified to own me. I knew better than to finish my sentence though, Richard would have never understood the reference.