The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

Glow in the Dark

I turned back to Richard hoping that he wouldn't be able to decipher the look of shock that was written all over my face.

Lydia was like a rash. She was always there no matter how hard you tried to get her away. Like a rash you were both disgusted yet fascinated by her. I found myself often studying her, both from the toilet and in art.

I hated that she was able to command a room so effortlessly, that she was able to make someone struggle to regulate their breathing simply by looking at them a certain look through her lashes. We were the same age yet the sex appeal that she was able to constantly exude both shocked and surprised me. It secretly made me jealous. Sometimes, a secret part of me wanted to shock her by having some major make over and being as equally attractive as her. But a much louder and smarter art of me didn't want to allow myself to gain self-love or self-worth though the attention, acceptance or appreciation of others.

What I hated most was that no one knew the side of her that I knew. She was very well through of and well received by everyone. How was she able to make it here after what had happened with Richard and Nat?

I could feel my naked back being burnt it. My mind was going crazy thinking of all the things that the trio could currently be doing or talking about. To put my mind and wild immigration at ease I turned to gaze at them. It did nothing to calm me. I tried to look over my shoulder casually only to meet Jasons eyes. Our eyes locked for less than a second before we both mutually returned to our conversations. Me, back Richard who was ordering our drinks and he, back to the sultry Lydia and Ellie.

***

After a few cocktails we walked for a few minutes to the train station. I stood arm in arm with Patrick as we waited for the train that would take us into central London. Levi has said that we were on guest list so hopefully Patrick and I wouldn't have to show our ID – as we were only 17.

The train ride and walk to Trafalgar Square was a blur of jokes and laughter. Levi and Daniel entertained everyone the train with their various stories about their childhood. It amazed me how Levi was able to put a smile on everyone's face so easily. I don't think he even tried to be funny half of the time.

We luckily walked into the club as Levi had put himself down as having two guests with him. I think he knew the bouncers because he touched hands with them when we walked in. Patrick and I went to put ours coats in the cloakroom. I was happy that I had picked this dress to wear. Pat and I blended in with the rest of the crowd. Most of the girls were in a dress or a crop top and jeans of some variation all paired with heels. We had a quick trip to the toilet to make sure that everything was in place, and I did actually need to use the toilet. We left and made a mission to find everyone else. Levi had mentioned something about them getting a booth so we walked towards the wall that had all the booths. We spotted them easily, but the group had grown now with some people that I hadn't seen before. There wasn't any seats left in the booth and we didn't want to stand around like extras so Pat and I decided to get some drinks. I didn't want to get to drunk as I was planning on going back home tonight, last thing I wanted was to stumble home drunk and wake up my mum.

What started off as a couple of drinks ended up in us taking shots. This resulted in us dancing, getting male attention and then having drinks bought for us. I started getting slightly worried when the shots no longer burnt my throat.

I had such good intentions for tonight as well.

Later in the night I was sitting in the booth with Levi and a few other people. He was sipping on a drink and swaying soberly along to the music. He had said that most of them had gone out to the smoking area but would be back and then we could hit the dance floor and get more drinks. I had lost Pat by this point but I texted her telling her where I was. It was slightly brighter light and not as loud as the dance floor so you could kind of hold a conversation in the booths.