The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

Once Upon A Dream (0.5)

Once upon a dream…

“Why are you grinning like that?” Joseph asked me. I shrugged innocently. Joseph raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. He turned his back and returned to mixing the pancake batter.

“You hate cooking.” I noted out loud. Joseph nodded.

“Charlottes wants pancakes.” He explained. “What the princess wants, she gets.” I rolled my eyes unimpressed. Charlotte was a fake princess. She wasn’t royal blood like me. At least my name was a legit Queens’s name. Joseph called the devil from the living room telling her that breakfast was nearly ready. I was spending the rest of my half term at Joseph’s. By the rest I mean every single day up until Monday when I was back at college. That was a whole 6 days without my mother. I was so happy when Joseph suggested I should stay over. Usually, Karl would crash here on Fridays or Saturdays when he was returning from parties and couldn’t be bothered to come home, now, it was my turn.

The devil walked into the room swaying her hair. Her hair was still picky but it was clear that Joseph had had sex with a Caucasian or mixed raced girl. Charlotte was fair skinned and her hair was medium length tight ringlets. I made a note to ask Joseph more about his ‘baby mother’.

“Why are you still smiling?” Joseph asked me again when we had all finished eating his questionable ‘pancakes’. I’m sure I wasn’t meant to taste the flour in pancakes. I ate all my food though, I knew it was torture for him to make that in the first place. Unlike Karl, he didn’t screech every time the oil touched him. Instead, he stood there like a Greek God and kissed his teeth when the oil hit him. This is why I feared Joseph sometimes. People who still jelled their hair and people who didn’t jump when hot oil hit them don’t understand social conventions and will kill you for fun.

“Can’t I just smile by myself for no reason?”

“Not in this flat. Tell her Char.”

“Daddy said that happiness needs to be shared.” Satan took the microphone. I tried not to make a face when she spoke…but I did. I couldn’t help myself. I nodded rolling my eyes. I wasn’t listening to this thing.

Joseph smiled patting her back. “Good girl. So you need to share your happiness.”

I shrugged shyly. “I had my first kiss last night.”

“That guy in the black Astra?” I nodded. Jo must have seen Richard drop me here last night. Joseph nodded slowly. I didn’t know how he would react. I didn’t know how anyone would react. Like I said, I was a tomboy to all my family and I had never mentioned a boy in my life. I watched Joseph curious to how he would react.

He sniffed.

I smiled.

“Are you crying?” I asked.

“I’m a sophisticated thug. I don’t cry.” I smirked and so did Joseph.

“Did you like it?” He asked.

I shrugged. I didn’t know what it should feel like so I don’t even know if I was satisfied.

 Ok, that’s a lie, I was very satisfied. But I had nothing to compare and contrast it to. It was a weird feeling. It’s a weird sensation having someone else’s tongue in your mouth. I always thought it would be gross. Like a small wet snake swimming in your mouth or something. But, it was nice, warm, slow, far from gross.

Joseph nodded. I think he could tell for my face that I liked it. “You know he has to marry you now.” I laughed.

“I’m not pregnant Jo. It was just a kiss.”