The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

#WSHH

A camel never sees its own humps.

Like the march of the Penguins when the daddy penguins arrived with all the food after months and months of being away, I, Satiah was back in my habitat.

I was in my toilet. In my element in you wish.

It had hit me, that my time away from the toilet had greatly affected my behaviour. For 1, I hadn’t been judging people of their shoes anymore. I saw my judging based of shoes and amazing and rare talent that I was not fully harnessing.

2, I had been socialising more, which at the time was okay. It when I was going home, or by myself I started to think, ‘I should not have said that’, ‘should have kept that to myself’, ‘no one cares that if you eat a polar bears liver you will die. No one cares Satiah.’ I

After yesterday when ‘he who cannot be mentioned’ nearly kissed me, I had ran back into my shell. My shell, in the form of the toilets. Today was Friday, I had had my first period which was Chemistry. Pretty soon the bell would go indicating I had to make my way to Art, then biology.

I was dreading Biology. I had not spoken to ‘he who cannot be named’ since yesterday, and I really didn’t plan to.

But until that bell went, I would sit here in complete peace.

It was a quiet day like any other. I was lazily jotting notes in my murder journal when a group of girls walked in.

“Have you seen his poor excuse of a beard?” One of the girls asked. I looked at the bottom of my cubicle. I think the one who spoke, had a pair of Nike Huaraches with tights. I could only assume she was wearing a skirt. But most likely shorts. It was cold but girls soldiered it out in shorts. I’m guessing the attention they got warmed their hearts enough. The girls she was with, maybe 2 or three laughed giving her fuel to carry on. “He looks like he burnt his upper lip.” She continued laughing with her friends.

“He needs to take notes from Jason.” My ears shot up and suddenly took notice of their conversation. Why did her voice sound so happy when she said that? I stopped writing and listened to what they would say about ‘he who could not be named’.

“Jason’s beard...” The first girl who spoke said trailing off. I could imagine her biting her lip or something stupid like that. Stupid things that girls in trainers and shorts in their weather would do.

“Forget his beard. Jason in general.” A third girl now spoke. They paused for a while. No doubt thinking about ‘he who could be named’. I stopped myself. I realised that I was scowling at the door as if they could see me. I fixed my face and stayed still as they started speaking again.

“Soooo” One of the girls dragged this out. I could imagine her holding her hand near her face and looking at something pointlessly. Like girls in shorts and trainers in their weather would do. “I was eating some chocolate the other day in Economics, and I offered him some yeah. And then he said, ‘I love Caramel’ and winked.” The third girl squealed showing more excitement than the girl in shorts. The one who actually told the story.

The other girls squealed with her too though. The girl in tights giggled. I could now imagine her being a mixed raced girl, those girls who buckled off Tumblr. Curly hair, light eyes, a Natasha look-a-like basically. The kind of girl that Jason would go for, the kind of girl that Jason would flirt with.

The third girl who squealed encouraged her friend to pursue ‘he who could not be named’. “Its bait he likes you.”

“Nah, I heard there’s a little something going on with him and some first year” The girl is shorts replied. I heard her bag unzip, no doubt to re-apply make-up.