The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

This that what we do don't tell your mum shxt.

If the outside know your information, check your inside.

It seemed like the theme of the week was to not say what you mean. Instead, say what people want to hear but have an obvious undertone to it.

This was the whole reason why I debriefed myself when anything virtually interesting happened. I had to de-brief myself so I could avoid it ever happening again.

This all started when I didn’t debrief myself last week after I went out with my family.

That’s how this happened.

That was why now Elle was leading me upstairs.

My feet were moving, but my eyes were stuck firmly on Natasha and Richard, kissing.

:::6 Days earlier.

One thing that will forever bamboozle me about my mum was her acting skills.

For the past month my mother had been spouting nothing but hatred about a close family friend. Nothing but pure hatred. It all started when they came over to our house about two months ago. I thought nothing of it, until my mum closed the door when they left and turned to us with a look of pure disgust.

‘’Did you hear what she said about my kitchen?" At this point we all expected her to say something like, it looks like rats come here for holiday, or that she's shocked anyone can like there. Maybe not that extreme, but something greatly offence could only lead to the unnatural face my mother was pulling.

But oh no my friends, all it took was that"She said it was small.’’ That was all it took for my mother to go on a full blown crusade against them. She had been waiting to be invited to their house for the past month, and now that the invitation had finally arrived my mother could not be happier.

I knew she was excited to go to their house so she could smugly tell my aunt that her kitchen was also small. Then we would get into the car, the whole ride home my mother would complain and complain about just about anything.

I had actually spent the day with Natasha strangley. She texted me asking me to come over, I thought something was actually the matter, but to my utter suprise she was just bored.

I didn't mind greatly, both my mum and Natasha annoyed me, it just so happened that today my mum was being extra annoying so going anywhere was better than staying at home.

I got home just as everyone was rushing around.

My dad shot me a look. My mum was on a rampage.

She shouted at me to get dressed. An hour later, me, my two brothers and my father were lined up on the bottom of the stairs ready for her to give use the once over. We were acting as is my mother was a drill sergeant.

She started with my dad. She nodded approvingly, obviously she had dressed him so she saw no problem with her work.  Next was my oldest brother. Again she nodded, she liked what she saw. She repeated the same procedure with my youngest older brother, again nodding approvingly. She stopped at me.

She scrtuinized me from the top going down. She smiled, even nodded approvingly when she noted that I had a replaced my usual ruggudy hand made braclets with a nice clean gold watch. Her smile dropped however when she landed on the airmaxes on my feet.