The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

Hardest of hearts.

This was my first year that I was actually doing something for Halloween. Well, instead of me turning all the house lights off ay 6 and ignoring all the kids knocking the door pretending not to be in then the next morning laughing at my mum cleaning all the egg off our door, this was the first year that I was physically doing something. I wasn’t sure if I was excited for this something. I wasn’t sure what I was wearing to this something.

By this something I meant Levi’s party. That was definitely going to be something. What was I even going to wear to this? I didn’t want to dress up like a “sexy cat” or something stupid like that. If I was going to dress up, I wanted to go all out. But then what if I was the only person that was dress up? Then I’d look even more out of place. Should Richard and I coordinate? Or is that weird and me being too thorough? Maybe I should just wear jeans and top. Yeah, that’s always safe.  

“What are you thinking about?” Patrick nudged me as we walked out of Chemistry. With my luck (no sarcasm) our end of term test had ran over as we started later than expected. Due to this, I had missed the Wednesday football match, but I wasn’t sure if the other school had left the school site yet.

“Levi’s Halloween party.” I answered holding open the door that lead us out of the building.

“He invited you?” I nodded. Pat took a seat on of the empty picnic benches. I looked over to the field and my questions were answered. The other colleges coach was still on the school grounds and I could make a few of them out sitting on the pitch with boys from my college. At least I had missed the match.

“Man like!” She tried to touch hands with me.

I moved away from her laughing.  “Go away.”

“What you wearing?” Patrick asked. Over these couple of days I had really grown to like her. I actually enjoyed listening to her speak, and she enjoyed talking so we clicked well.

I shrugged, much to her annoyance.

“I think you should go all sexy kitten.” I rolled my eyes. That wasn’t scary.

“You should go as Ana Steele!” Patrick said suddenly having an epiphany. “I mean it’s perfect. You already dress like her.” I looked at her. I was not going to take offence to that because I knew she didn’t mean it in the way I was thinking.

“But who’s your Mr Grey? Levi?” Patrick went on rambling. “No, Richard would make the perfect Mr Grey. Look at him.” Patrick said glancing across at the boys. It was right after the football match. They were sitting around on the field laughing. We watched him pick up the water bottle. His head went back as he squeezed the bottle and water shot out straight into his mouth. I watched Patrick’s reaction. She crossed her legs and bit her lips. I looked at all the other girls that was the general reaction to him right now. That, or nudging, giggling, and one girl took a picture.

“Imagine, instead of that water it could be your juices flowing into his mouth-“

“Oh my God Patrick!” I covered my ears. “I’ve heard enough.”

“You know Richards mouth be about something.” She said in an American accent giggling. I shook my head standing up quickly. The things that came out of her mouth sometimes. She didn’t have a filter

“I’m going toilet.” She wasn’t even listening to me. She was like every other breathing girl, watching all the boys relaxing. I walked back inside the building trying to burn all the images of 50 Shades of Grey from my mind. How did she even jump to that conclusion? How could I be Ana Steele? I’m more of a Batwoman type of girl.

I actually used the toilet. It was a weird feeling, coming in here and leaving. Within 5 minutes I mean. I wasn’t sure if I liked it, or not, but until my insides started bleeding or something I would continue.