The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

50 Shades of Jason.

“Satiah!”

“I’m not hungry mum!” I shouted back for the 10th time today. I rolled my eyes and covered my head with the blanket again.

I wasn’t in a state to converse with my mother today. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bite down my tongue like I usually would with the way I was feeling right now. The one thing I wanted, the only thing that I wanted was to pass by college completely unnoticed. That’s the only thing I wanted, and what happens? I get into a fight.

Not even a fight. ‘Fight’ implies that it was two people hitting each other. I was attacked in front of the college.

So I wasn’t just socially weak, I had confirmed that I was physically weak too. I had confirmed that to Lydia, Jason, Richard, Natasha, even to myself.

I cried after it happened when I got home. I hid under my covers and cried like they do in the movies.

So I was mentally weak too then.

“There’s someone at the door!” She shouted back. My mum had noticed something was wrong. Well, it was obvious when I had completely refused to leave the house for 3 days now. The thought of even seeing anyone that wasn’t my family gave me violent butterflies.

“Tell them my dog died.” I shouted back tutting. She remained silent. I put my headphones back in my ears. I scrolled down to Kanye West. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy played. It wasn’t even half way through the intro when my door opened. I didn’t hear it because my volume was so loud, it was only because I felt the breeze come into my room.

“I told you I’m not hungry mum. Jesus.” I said to her before she could complain.

“I’m not your mum.” I heard his deep voice.

My heart raced.

I pulled one earphone out and opened my blanket slowly. I was hoping it was all an allusion. I was really hoping because I hadn’t eaten food properly today that this was my dehydrated and hungry mind playing tricks on me.

It wasn’t. I looked at him from the feet up. He surprisingly didn’t have a new pair of trainers on, instead he had a pair of desserts on. It was a welcome change. He wore black jeans, Levi’s no doubt. Black top and a monochrome black and white bomber jacket. The way he was dressing was a welcome change indeed. I always liked Jason in all black. I looked all the way up to his smile. His smug, smug smile. He thought I liked what I saw.

I blinked back trying to fight back a smile that would have mirrored his. Instead, my face remained stoic and I stared at him.

He made my room look so small. He made me feel so small. I pulled my covers all the way up to my neck keepings in mind that I was not wearing a bra right now.

I continued to stare at him hoping that he would do or say something.

He did do something.

He walked closer to my bed slowly.

My mind went frantic but I froze. “What do you want?”

“You.” I looked around awkwardly aware that he was still approaching me. I looked down unable to even look at him. I heard his footsteps stop, so I hoped that he had stopped walking towards me.

I didn’t reply for a while so he finally changed the subject, “You need to come to college.”

“I’m not feeling well.” I answered still looking at my sheets.

He remained silent. I felt the bed dip, I peeked a look. Jason had sat on my bed, looking at me.

I looked around awkwardly. I couldn’t look at him usually, but with what had happened with the fight, no, the attack, I felt so low. Physically and mentally. I wasn’t in a mood to speak anyone. I wanted to wallow in self-pity.