The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

The Language.

(Haven’t proof read – as if I ever do)

::: Elle’s party.

Expectations.

Expectations, expectations, expectations.

The gun that kills relationships.

I hoped that people weren't expecting to rock up to Ellie’s party, and be transformed as if I was a ghetto Cindrella. I hope they were expecting me to wear a dress and suddenly have a desirable derriere and lust worthy bust with an incy wincey tiny waist to match.

Because for that to happen I would have to stop eating Burger King and do sit ups or squats or whatever fad was in right now.

I wasn't willing to do either.

So people that had expectations had to deal with the fact that I was going to turn up to this party in converse. If they were lucky, only if, I might even throw on a skirt.

I was watching the time tick quickly. I had roughly three hours before Natasha would be banging on my door, the wind swaying her beautifully tight in the right places green dress. I sighed.

Time was going too fast. I had thought that doing some homework would make time go slowly, but when I looked up five hours had suddenly disappeared. So I thought maybe speaking to my mum about God would make time go really slow. It usually did. But once again, when I looked up at the time another hour had evaporated.

So I had now decided to just sit here, and watch the time.

I watched every tick, dreading it to hit 9pm.

By 8, I had accepted defeat. Natasha had texted me to start getting ready as she was going to head to my house soon. I trailed up the stairs.

I took a shower. I didn’t really want to but it seemed like the conventional thing to do, I had seen everyone on TV do it. I re-shaved my legs again and started getting ready.

I creamed my body. Putting a few extra layers on my legs.

I slipped on my black leather t-shirt dress.

I know I said I would wear a dress, but I knew I would stick out even more if I turned up in t-shirt and jeans. At least this wasn’t a tight dress. It was like a longer oversized leather tee. I put on a pair of bike shorts under them though, in case the wind blew in the wrong direction or something.

I rubbed my tummy, I hated the fact that I was having butterflies. I gave myself a once over in my mirror. I wasn’t sure if I liked how I looked right now. I had to wait to see Natasha reactions I guess.

I took out my small make up kit from my top draw. I put on my usual light make-up, covering up that small blemish on the right cheek and applying some eyeliner to make my dull brown eyes look a little interesting. I looked back at my reflection again.

Okay, I was liking how I looked a little more.

I straightened my hair (something my mother hated, good) and let it just rest on my shoulders. I never did much with my hair, it was usually up so Ellie should count herself lucky. I ran my hands through it once putting it to the side.

I looked at myself once more.

I smiled. Ok, might as well toot my own horn as no-one else will. I looked good.

Just as I was admiring how long my hair had gotten and how I had styled it so nicely, my door knocked. I heard someone downstairs open it.

I waited a short while, then Nat burst through my door.