Unintentionally Loving it (Bakushima) (Trans Kiri)

Kiri's Decision

X Mentions of Abortion X

Eijiro's PoV

Here I am, sat in my room, pregnant and crying in my boyfriends shoulder. I know for a fact that I don't want this kid, but I don't want Katsuki to hate me. I love him, and he might want this kid. I'm just a teenager, this would deeply affect my chances of becoming a pro. I lift my head from my boyfriends shoulder. 

Tears streaming down my cheeks, and a desperate look in my eyes. I stare at Katsuki, hoping he knows what I'm trying to say. I try to speak, but all that comes out is muffled sobs. I want to tell him I don't want it, but what will he say. I take in a deep breathe, and calm my nerves. I'm going to get anywhere if I don't calm down. 

"K-katsuki, I-I don't wa-want it. I'm s-sorry. P-please d-don't b-be mad." I stutter out. 

"I'm not mad. If you don't want it, then I fully support your choice." He says.

I put my head back into him shoulder, and continue to cry. I don't want this kid, but the thought of killing something seems so horrific. I'm not keeping it, that I know, but i hate the thought of being a murderer. I know he says he doesn't mind, but he could just be lying. Ugh, I hate this. 

"Can we ask to do it now. The sooner we do, the better I will feel." I ask.

"Not today babe, we just came back. We can go tomorrow. You should get some sleep." He replies. 

I nod my head, and lay down on my bed. I give him grabby hands because I deserve all the attention at times like these. He gives me a light chuckle. He comes over to me, and lays down next to me. I wrap my arms around his slim waist, and rest my head on his chest. I close my eyes, and drift off to sleep.

(Time Skip brought to you by my dad saying he won't take me on a daddy daughter date because I'm a lesbian and I'm should be the one giving dates (motherfucker) )

Right now, me and Katsuki are in Recovery Girl's room, waiting for her to come back from her meeting. We came here as soon as we were washed and dressed. It said on her door that we could sit in her office, while we wait for her return. All this waiting is getting me anxious. Can't she get here already, and tell her what my answer is the same as yesterday.

I had to have my tits out for over a month, that gave me enough dysphoria as it is, I don't need the thought of a kid growing inside of me as well. I know it is selfish, I'm killing an innocent being, all because of the woman attachments it has. I am a man, and men can't get pregnant.

I get taken out of my thoughts, by the office door opining. I look up to see Recovery Girl at the doorway. She has a slight frown upon her face, when she sees us. I try to smile, but this situation has nothing that I can genuinely be happy about. She walks over to us, and gives us a half smile. She clearly doesn't agree with my decision.

"So I'm guessing you're here for a termination." She says.

I cringe at that word. I know that is technically what it is called, but it just makes me feel worse about this than I already do. I nod my head, but leave it hung in self disappointment. She gives me a pill, and just tells me to sit on the bed and wait. I nod, and just lay back on the bed. I feel disgusted in myself that I, of all people, am doing this.

I sit and wait, until I need a piss. I tell Recovery Girl this, and she just says that is how it will come out. I look at her kind of conflicted. I told her not to tell me how it works, but now I'm regretting it. I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this. I go into the bathroom, and do my business. When I'm done, I flush the toilet, and wash my hands.

I walk back into the room, and Katsuki gives me a soft smile. I slowly shake my head at him, as I walk over to were I sat before I left the room. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I'm a transgender, gay boy, who was kicked out of his own home. Water leaks from one of my eyes, as I think over what I just did. I thought I would feel better once it was done. Fresher almost, but I don't.

I feel like a monster.

MONSTER!

I feel like a murderer.

MURDERER!

I feel like a whore.

WHORE!

I feel like a slut.

SLUT!

Why do I feel so disgusted with myself. I know this was the right thing to do, but I can't help but think it might not have been. NO! It was. You're a man, and men can't get pregnant. Plus it would affect my plans with being a pro hero. It would be impossible to be in the hero corse, and be pregnant at the same time, and pass the physical exams.

I take a deep breathe, and push all my negative thoughts away. This was the best option for my future.

But that kid didn't even get a chance at a future!

I wipe the tears from my cheeks, and grab Katsuki's hand. I say thank you to Recovery Girl for her help, and we go to my dorm. I go to my sofa, and just collapse on it. One of the side affects from the pill, was fatigue, and I was definitely feeling that. I let out a sigh, and grab the remote for the tv from besides me. I put on some random soap, and close my eyes.

I feel a weight beside me. I lean my body against it, knowing it was Katsuki. I let the sounds of the 'Caron' from the show send me to sleep. Those bitches really need something better to do than complain about not having enough wash liquid for their laundry at the driers. I feel sleep take over me, blocking out the sounds of the tv, and focusing on just my boyfriends breathing. I've been awake for just over two hours, and I'm having a nap. Pathetic.

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Well this chapter took longer than I thought it would. I already knew I wanted him to get an abortion, because I like traumatising all my characters. Thank you for baring with me. Also, I have no idea if that is how an abortion is done, sorry if this is entirely incorrect, I just seemed right in my head. Have a lovely day or night my kittens.

~Jean