Say Okay (ON HOLD)

Chapter 37

Harry's pov

I woke up still not knowing what I was supposed to do to get Esmea's trust back or at least get her to talk to me so we can sort things out between us.

I can't afford to loose her again. I mean I just got her back. Not in the way I would like to but at least I know now that she's safe and she seems to be doing well.

I wish that we were still together and that we have a family and we'd be happily married. I just wished that I didn't screw things up.

There hasn't been a day that's gone past that I haven't thought about her. Like I would see something or hear a certain song that reminded me of the times we spent together.

"Daddy hurry up otherwise we're going to be late."Trevor said pushing me down the hallway into the kitchen.

"I'm coming Trevor, just settle down a bit. It's still early."I said, picking him up off the ground.

"Sorry. But Darcy's coming over and I want to show her my room and everything."He said, smiling.

"I know she is."I said, taking a deep breath.

Trevor hasn't shut up about Darcy coming over since I told him about it yesterday. I swear he says her name in literally every sentence even when she's completely irrelevant to the conversation at hand.

Like for example last night we were talking about mangos then all of a sudden Trevor told me that one time Darcy and Esmea went on a picnic in the summer and had all these types of fruit that they ate, including mangos then he then went on about how we never went on picnics .He then asked if we could go on a picnic and ask Darcy and her mum to come along. I told him that we shall see.

After getting Trevor ready for school and making sure that he cleaned his room I took him to school. The car ride consisted of Trevor telling me all the things that he and Darcy were going to do after school. It was nice seeing him interacting with kids his own age, even though Darcy is his only friend.

When I see Darcy and Trevor together it reminds me so much of what Esmea and I when we were on tour. They're joined at the hip, just like me and Esmea. Except for the fact that Trevor and Darcy became friends from the moment they met, unlike me and Esmea. But soon enough me and Esmea became so close nothing could break us apart.

Well that's what I thought .

I guess something's aren't meant to work out the way you want it to.
When the tour finished I thought I was never going to see her again. And that broke me as a person. I did so many things that weren't me. When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize the person that was staring back at me. All I saw was a man with no emotion. I saw a man who was lost and who had lost his way

I didn't know what I was doing or who I had become. It was like something took over my body which made me do some things that I regret. Even my friends and family told me that I had changed and that was something that hit home for me and plus knowing that I was going to be a father, that pushed me even more to change.

I decided to get out of the media for a while, take a break from everything's. So I went home for about a month and a half. I stayed in my step dad's bungalow just to find myself and reconnect with who I once was. It was hard to get all those voices out of my head. But it was worth it in the end. I was finally myself again. I was finally Harry. I was finally me.

At first my mum wasn't too happy about me getting a girl pregnant at the age of seventeen but she accepted it. I told her about Amber and how she wanted to give up the baby and she agreed with me in the fact that Amber should keep the baby. The same with the boys.