Say Okay (ON HOLD)

Chapter 31

Harry’s pov

When Louis left not long after the rest of the boys I was left alone by myself. Well not really I had Trevor but he wouldn’t understand what I’m feeling let alone trying to comfort me about it.

I don’t know what to do or what to feel. The only thing I feel is nothing, I feel numb. I feel disgusted in myself for my actions. No wonder why she broke up with me, no wonder why she doesn’t want anything to do with and no wonder why the boys were disappointed in me.

I hit a girl for god sake and not just any girl. I hit Esmea. I don’t even know why I hit her though, there’s no excuse for it men shouldn’t hit girls. Sure girls can hit guys but it doesn’t go both ways. My mum taught me that. I still remember her exact words.

Harry no matter the circumstance you should never lay a hand on a woman that can physically hurt her in anyway.

I can’t even begin to think about how my mother would react if she knew about the incident. All I know is that I wouldn’t be in her good book and with my mum that’s never a place you want to be.

I don’t even want to know why I hit her. It was stupid and immature. I want to apologise to her but I highly doubt that she would even give me the time of the day to let me explain how terrible and sorry I feel.

I must admit that when she broke it off with me I thought it was sum stupid reason, like I paid other girls more attention to then her.

But know that I know what I did, though I don’t know why I did it I want to mend things with her, yes that might not ever happen .I know for a fact that we won’t ever be the same again like I hoped. I just want to at least tell her I’m sorry for all the damage that I’ve caused her. Whether she wants to hear it or not is another story.

The next morning wasn’t any better I still felt numb my body didn’t have the strength to do anything but I had to take Trevor to school. So I had to change my mind set and think of the good things in my life like Trevor and the boys. It was difficult but I managed to get Trevor ready on time without him asking me if I was okay or not.”I think he was more happy to see Darcy than anything eles.I didn’t want him worrying.

An hour later at the Kindy/school.

Once we arrived at the kindy Trevor tugged on my arm.

"What is it?”I asked picking him up.

"Darcy. “He whispered into my ear. I turned around to see Esmea and Darcy holding hands walking towards us. God she’s beautiful. I smiled at Trevor. I think maybe Niall was right about Trevor having a crush on Darcy from the way he was looking at her with a beaming smile.

“Darcy. “Trevor called once they came closer. I looked up, and smiled at both Darcy and Esmea, before waving. Once they got to the steps of the classroom I placed Trevor down so that he could greet Darcy. They hugged quickly before Darcy gave Trevor a kiss on the cheek. They both giggled.

“Let’s go inside Darcy. Bye dad, Bye Darcy’s mum. “Trevor grabbing Darcy’s hand.

“Wait.”Darcy said before letting go of his hand. Darcy made her way over to Esmea before giving me a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye to me which I found very sweet. She then grabbed Trevor’s hand before pulling him inside.

Once Darcy and Trevor made their way inside it was just me and Esmea,obviously.There was obviously some tension in the air but Esmea was definitely  trying to hide it unlike me who was just standing there like an awkward sixteen year old. Though I’m 23

“Well I best be off. Goodbye Esmea” I said awkwardly. I couldn’t do it.I was too scared. She might run away or worse she might cry, even though I know she’s tough.