Say Okay (ON HOLD)

Chapter 12

Esmeas pov

He just stood there staring at me.I get I have changed but I haven’t changed that much.But I didn’t want him to stare at me to be frank it scared the crap out of me.It felt like he was tryng to figure me out trying to read me,trying to find out hat I was thinking.

“Harry can you please stopp staring at me?” asked waving my hand infront of his face,

“Sorry I just can’t belive your here.”He said smiling.The same smile that made my heart melt the same smile that set me up for getting my heart broken.

I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive him for what he did and what he put me through.He made me feel like I was flying when I was with him.He made me feel like I could trust him that he would always be there to catch me if I fall.As cliché as that sounds.But I believed him.That darn smile does things to you that you cant even imagine it’s like it controlled how you act the way you think and the way you speak it;s like your under a spell a spell that can never be broken.

But it wasn’t until the incident happendd when I finally realised that I was living in a fairy tail.He wasn’t there for me he wasn’t there to catch me he just said that to amke me feel like he was when he really wasn’t. I just wished I never took that chance with him so that I could of saved myself from the heartbreak that was comming my way.

When I broke it off I was miserable.I was lost.I stayed in bed for a whole week just lying there just thinking.Why.Why did I fall for him.Why didn’t I listen to anyone that had warned me about him.Why did it have to happen to me. After a week I couldn’t take it any more I couldn’t concentrate my head was clogged up with these thoughts that I couldn’t find the answers to and that was driving me insane.

So I did the only thing that helped clear my mind up.Running.I grabbed my running shoes and chucked on a t-shirt and shorts,placing my iPod into my sports bra turning the music up to full beam blocking everything out so the only thing that I was concentrating on was where I was going and my breathing.

I found that running calms me down a lot and helps to clear up my head space.I think it;s just the feeling of the cold air hitting my face feeling my heart race the best feeling having no clue where I’m going .Just going I love the feeling of just going where life takes me not having a care where I would end up.Just having the excitement of what is there to offer in the world.

Durning my run everything was clear nothing was gong through my mind for the first time in day and I was so thankfull for that.I closed my eyes taking  deep breath inhaling the cold air.I suddenly hit the grounf wuth a thump.

I sighed closing my eyes before i looked up to  see a really attractive guy holding out his hadn.I graed his hand electric sparks going up my spine.I noticed that he seemd to shiver in the spot.He must of been cold or something.Then again it was hot outside.

“I’m really sorry i wasn’t watching where I was going.”He said looking straight into my eyes.

“No it’s my fault I should of see you.”I said shaking my head.

“Let me make  it up to you.Let me buy you a coffe?”He said smiling.

“I don’t knowI don’t even know you.”I said placing my hand behind my neck.

“I’m mark.”He said holding out his hand.

“I’m Esmea nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”He said.”So what brings you down south?”He asked walking beside me .

“Well the thing is….”

That is how I met Mark and the rest was history.I knew he liked me from the first day we met but I wasn’t ready for another realtionship seeming I had just gotten out of.It was awkward to say the least when I went back the next day to continue the tour with the boys after mine and Harry’s breakup.It was heatraking when Harry paid all of his attention to new girl that didn’t know him.All of the boys were symathetic towards me and I hated that.I hated when peiple felt sorry for me.I hated sympathy.I didn’t take it well.Louis was the most sypaathetic towards me he knew Harry and what happend when girls are in the picture.In the end I had  told Louis just to let it go. I told him that I was over and I was fine.I wasn’t fine.I was hurting alot seeing him with a new girl every week.

But when I with Mark everything disappered.He made me feel like I could be myself without having a  care in the world.Just like Harry did.Mark was different he was aways there like really there for me through everything.When me and Mark got closer and closer. I noticed that Harry got worse.When Mark came to one of the shows Harry wasn’t himself .He barley talked that whole night when he did he kept it short and sweet.When  the show had finished he went straight to the tour bus saying that he was tired.

Thinking back alot has changed since then.Except for the fact that  can’t get over for what Harry did.And who he did it with.

“So Harry can I have my phone back?”