Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.6. Wouldn't Understand

Anthony

After what seemed like forever we get to our last game before we arrive in Chicago. The road trip was pretty tough baseball wise. The season is still relatively young and we're all finding our strides. But it is better to struggle now than in October. We do our usual hang outs and group activities on the road which is some of my favorite parts of playing but I would be lying if I said I wasn't ready to be back in Chicago.

"You've been smiling at your phone the past few days" Kris accuses as he sits next to me while we hang out in the clubhouse before the game.

"Yeah, what's with that" Jon chimes in.

"I've been texting this girl... Amanda" I smirk as they look at me weird. If only they knew.

"Amanda? Do we know her" Kris wonders.

"No. No she and I have only hung out a few times" I start to explain. I know she doesn't want people knowing that we talk. Her face is on the front page of some news outlet as is and that from her literally doing nothing. If this gets out I know it'll cause issues.

"What does she look like" Jon asks.

"She's beautiful, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen actually. Her hair looks like the kind of hair most women would die for. It's this deep Brown that looks like chocolate and it's super long and wavy. She has these ocean blue eyes that look like a hurricane at times. Other times it looks like a clear blue sky. And she has those lips that you dream about. She's-" I get cut off.

"Are you in love" Jon says and my eyes get big.

"What? Absolutely not" I scoff.

"Sure sounds like it" he accuses.

"We're not even friends last time I checked. I don't think what we're doing is what friends do. Plus she's married" I inform them.

"Ew. You're smiling at texts from a married woman" Kris gags.

"It's... complicated" I sigh.

I haven't told anyone about Celeste because to the world we were simply strangers. We were just two ships passing through the night. There is no record of us, no one knows about us. Which is kind of nice because this way it is just us. Amanda and me and it allows me to try and figure all this out on our own.

"I don't think you should be messing with a married woman" Kris insists.

"It's not what you think" I try.

"Well can we meet her" he asks.

"No" I admit.

"Can we get a last name" Jon questions.

"No" I sigh.

"Is she real" Kris teases and I just shake my head.

"Sometimes I wonder. It kinda feels like she came into my life in a bad time and if things were different we would be so happy together" I admit.

"But things are not different and she's married" Jon adds on.

"Yes thank you for the constant reminder" I roll my eyes.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. I've never seen you smile at your phone like that so I know you like this girl. But you're playing a dangerous game" he warns.

"I know Jonny but you guys don't get it. You don't know the things I know, you haven't felt the way I felt. She is in a difficult situation, far worse than you would ever imagine and that's only from what she reluctantly shared with me, and she feels like I'm the only person that understands her. I mean we've hung out three times in the month I've known her, that's all. But there's no denying this connection we have. Even if I could find some way to explain it, you guys wouldn't understand. You're not her and you're not me.

I know I'm playing with fire here, more than you guys even realize. But I can't just give up on this girl. She has no one, she barley has me. But I'm doing everything I can to keep her around" I explain.

"What are you expecting her to do? Break up with her husband then run into your arms? What is that going to look like" he asks.

"She deserves to be happy" I argue.

"She's not happy in her relationship" Kris questions.

The room falls silent because I've already said too much. I'm one of the few people she trusts and I don't want to break that by defending myself to people who have no clue what they're talking about.

"Let's just say that even if she doesn't end up with me she shouldn't be with him either. I'll leave it at that" I say.

"How do you know she isn't just telling you this stuff so she doesn't feel bad flirting with another guy" Jon accuses.

For some reason I feel a fire ignite inside of me as I clinch my teeth. How bad I wanted to tell him off because he hasn't a clue as to what Celeste goes through. I barley do but what I do know it is awful. And she's not making it up, no one wants to be this oppressed by their own life. They just... they don't understand.

"The exact reason she is in the situation she is in now is because of people like you. People who don't believe things are the way they are because they don't understand it. It's not her fault this is happening to her. Blaming a victim does what exactly? Imagine your wife being hurt and then thinking it was her fault. You would never do that right" I ask him.

"Of course not" he says.

"Then why would she be lying about this? If she was just using her story as a excuse to be with me then she would be with me right? But she is doing everything in her power to keep herself safe while still finding some light in this situation" I defend.

"Keeping herself safe? If it's that bad just call the cops" Jon tries.

But I just shake my head because that wasn't a option. "I can't. She can't. It's... I can't tell you what it is. Can we just drop this" I ask.

"Can you? Because that's what I think you should do" Jon claims.

"And leave her to struggle all on her own? Who does that help" I challenge.

"No one. But what you're doing isn't exactly helping either is it" he accuses.

"Well... no. But I feel better knowing that she's still getting around day to day. I have a peace of mind seeing her out" I admit.

"And what do you get out of all of this" Kris grills.

"I'm not sure, to be honest with you. I hope at least a friend. Because being around her makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine. Like I could sail through the clouds never worried about having to come back down. She's broken down right now but I can tell her pieces make someone quite amazing. And I want to be there when she pulls herself together. I want to see her smile and not be afraid of something taking it away from her like it always does" I say.

"You really care about this girl, don't you" Kris accuses.

"I'm afraid I do" I sigh.

"Well for both of your sakes I hope it all works out" Jon claims.

"Makes two of us" I mumble.