.78. Pity

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Celeste

There's nothing quite like baseball on a hot summer day. Even pregnant I still enjoy the feeling of the sun on my skin. Not a lot of sports let's you out in the sun like baseball does. It was honestly refreshing, and I know I should spend a lot of my time in the boxes but I spend all day in the apartment messing around in the babies room or doing homework, a girl needs her vitamin D. So I join some friends and go watch the game from the stands. Day games at Wrigley are my favorite, that's for sure.

So I throw on a white tank top and a jersey styled shirt that I can leave open and it not look awkward that Amy made for me. She's always getting a bunch of my business and now I need new game day clothes that fit around the bump. And like always she doesn't miss.

As I sit in the bleachers I can't help but feel eyes on me. I always knew when people were staring at me. I could feel it. Like I'm in big brother and always being watched. You never really get used to it. You start to wonder if there's something in your teeth or if you have a hole in your pants. I try my best to ignore this feeling but I just know someone was staring right now.

Finally I start to look around and a few rows behind me I see a bunch of girls in a group. I don't know these people and they don't know me but when you're with these athletes they sure as hell think they know you. And when I was with James I used to get so jealous. I knew he could have any girl and I knew he had no problem messing around with them. Luckily with Anthony my worry with these women isn't that they will steal my man, we've been through far too much for it to be thrown away for some stranger. But that doesn't mean they don't talk and I won't listen.

I turn back around and try to shrug off the five sets of eyes that couldn't seem to leave me. There was a whole baseball game going on right now but you couldn't tell by where their attention was. I try and act like I'm on my phone as their whispers become louder.

"He's just with her because he feels bad for her. That's what he does, try to fix what's broken" one girl claims.

"Well he's got his hands full because she obviously can't handle being with a real man. I mean look what happened with James" another says.

"He probably got off the hook being in jail" the first girl chuckles.

"At least the baby should be cute. I hope Anthony feels sorry enough to stick around for the child" one spits.

I feel the tears come up in my eyes as I choke them back. I know, better than anyone, not to listen to these girls. Their words are nothing but lies and jealousy, but it still hurts. And the fact they would say stuff like that a few feet away from me is crazy. I mean they know nothing about me and yet they can sit here and talk behind my back. Not a clue as to what led me here and what keeps me here.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom" I whisper as I stand up. I get up and walk past those girls who eyes still don't leave me. They freeze for a moment as my stare lasts longer than it should. If I had the balls I would call them out. But if I spend all my time wasted on people I'll never see again I'll never have time for the things that are important.

So I freshen up in the bathroom and take a long good look at myself in the mirror. I know Anthony wasn't here just to nurture me. I know the love we share is beyond pity. But part of me knows he feels bad for me and he does a lot of things because he does.

I return to my seat and put on a smile, I'm a professional at that by this point. The boys end up losing but they can afford a loss of two at this point in the season. They were in a good place in the standings and still had a lot of baseball left. So I go down to the clubhouse and cool down a little. I wait for Anthony as I pick at my nails. I have a lot of anxious tendencies like biting my lip or picking my nails or twirling my hair around my finger. I don't do it as much any more but whenever I'm feeling uneasy it's my go to.

"Celeste" a deep voice says and I jump a little. I look around to see the room had emptied and I didn't even realize it. Anthony stood there in front of me changed and showered telling me he was ready to go.

"Hey" I smile as I stand up.

"You look bothered" he starts. How he figured that out so quickly is beyond me.

"I... had a rough game" I admit.

"You too huh" he teases as I giggle.

"Yeah but I'll be okay. So will you" I promise.

"What happened" he wonders as he grabs my hand. His fingers lace with mine before he pulls me into his side.

"It's nothing" I try.

"If it wasn't nothing your finger nails would still be light blue. So spill it" he demands.

A frustrated sigh passes my lips because I couldn't even be good at being miserable. "Why are you with me" I ask him.

His eyebrows raise as his head shakes a little. I'm sure he wasn't expecting it but I wanted to hear in his words why he's with me and him not just feed me what I want to hear.

"What are you taking about" he questions.

"Why are you with me and not any other girl out here" I ask again.

"Because I love you, and I always have. You inspire me to be the best person I can be. If it wasn't for you I would be so blind to the world. Your love has shown me true meaning to all of this and I found new dreams. To be with you forever is the end game and starting our family and our life together, it's been the greatest times I've known. I would trade the World Series for a life with you any day" he says.

"So you don't just feel sorry for me" I ask him.

He looks at me weird as I anxiously wait for a response. "Where did you hear that" he questions.

"It's nothing. Just a bunch of girls who don't have anything better to do than to talk about me" I try.

"Well they're wrong. They couldn't be more wrong. You aren't some helpless girl who needs me. You divorced that man who held you prisoner for a decade and broke those chains all your own. You took time to build yourself before we started building our future together. You are strong. You didn't need me or James or anyone to be valid. I see you even when they can't and I see nothing but a beautiful young woman far stronger than you can even imagine" he insists.

"Thank you" I smile as he kisses my cheek.

"Of course baby. Why don't we go get some ice cream" he asks.

"I would love some" I admit.

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