Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.97. Uncomparable

Anthony

September rolls right along and I find myself on a mission to be the best dad I could possibly be. Celeste only took a few weeks off from work before she got back into it. For the most part she works from the office here in the apartment and she had her own office at the agency. But a lot of the stuff is on her laptop so she does her designing here. She can work and I watch over Stella as we watch some Disney movies or do tummy time.

Today Celeste was at the office to meet with a client and I stayed home to watch over the baby. She gets pretty fussy when her mom isn't around, and trust me I get it, but she's learning that I will do anything to make her happy and lets me hold her. She just stares up at me with her big blue eyes and I feel my heart beat faster. How can I love something so small, something that doesn't talk or do much of anything, as much as I do? It was crazy to me. I always loved kids and I always wanted one of my own but I didn't know it was this great. I had no idea the kind of love that this baby gives me.

"Look at you. Such a small little human taking up such a large place in my heart" I say as her eyes follow me. I softly rest my hand behind her head and the feeling of her in my hands made my knees weak.

I sit down on the nursing couch in her room and I keep my eyes on her. She just looks up at me not a clue as to how much I loved her.

"I used to stay up at night and think about what I would do once you're here. All the places to show you and the things to say. And I would get scared because I wasn't sure what to do if you didn't care about baseball or going to Florida or many of the things I enjoy. I was worried that I would mess up and you would be the one to pay.

But now that you're here my fears are gone. You look at me and I feel like no matter how bad I play or how many times I lose you will always look at me with these eyes and I'll feel better. There is no better feeling that being your father, you just can't tell your mother that. Because while she makes me the luckiest man in the world you make me the happiest. My love for the both of you is incomparable and she will always mean everything to me. But you changed a lot and I know for a fact you are by far the best thing I will call mine" I tell her.

She hangs on my words not even understanding a single one. But I wanted her to get to know my voice. Know that I am the one who will be here when mom isn't and I will do whatever I can to make her happy. And while she doesn't know what I'm saying she's listening, I can tell she is. And one day she will understand how much she means to me.

Eventually I break down and call Celeste so she comes home. Sometimes a baby just wants their mom and I understand. I really do. So Celeste takes care of Stella and I decide to draw Callie a bath. She still has stitches and she is still really tender so I add some epsom salt and oils to help her heal. No scented bubbles or bath bombs because those can irritate and make things worse. Just wanted her to have a little something to help her relax and help her heal.

Once Stella was down for her nap Celeste happily jumps in the bath. I sit with her because she was gone all day and I did miss her. Being near her made me feel better plus she was quite something to look at.

"I know it's too soon, but what do you think of another kid" I ask her as she softly combs through her hair.

"I think it's gonna be a while before I can have another child" she claims.

"But you do want another one" I question.

"I do. I was a only child and while I loved the attention I got I missed out on a lot of things people with siblings have. I didn't have any hand me downs but I also didn't have the joy of following in someone's footsteps, there was no history. And it caused a lot of stress on my mom because no one was there to help her when I got older and needed to be a bunch of different places. I'm not saying to use Stella as a uber when she gets older but it would be nice for her to be someone to lean on. She can have someone she can talk to forever. If my dad didn't pass I would have like to think I would have siblings. My mom wanted a bunch of kids but having a kid with the wrong person can be scary so she stopped after me. I would like to think I would have made a great big sister" she smiles.

"I think you would have" I agree.

"I do want a son at some point. I can't control that and if I have four more daughters I would be just as happy. But a son would be nice, I think little boys are the sweetest and to have someone carry your name would be cool" she says.

"I have a huge family and we have lots of boys so I think genetics can help you out with this one" I promise.

"But I still want to wait a while. Figure things out with Stella and wait until she's older before we're back to this stage. And a ring would be nice too" she teases as I smile.

"I'm working on that part. For now let's just focus on making sure we don't get so lost in our daughter we forget about everything else" I insist.

"I'm trying but I was waiting for you to call me home from the moment I left this morning. I couldn't wait to be back with my family" she claims.

"Well we're happy to have you back. This just isn't the same without you and we missed you dearly" I assure her.

"Ugh I love you guys so much" she claims and I smile.

"I loved you too" I say as I give her a kiss.