Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.88. Listen To Your Heart

Anthony

There is something that is weighing heavy on my mind and I wasn't sure what to think about it. Mostly because the one person who I wanted to talk to is the one person I can't.

So I call up my second momma and see what she had to say. She's already helped me out a lot when it comes to this situation but I have yet so actually act on anything.

"Good morning dear. How are you" Hannah asks and I smile. I adored this woman so much.

"I'm good. And how are you feeling? Is everything well" I wonder.

"I'm great. I got your package of Cubs stuff for the kids. They love it so much" she tells me making me smile.

"I'm glad they did. We need more Cubs fans in Seattle" I tease.

"I've converted my whole family out here so you'll always have us cheering you on" she promises.

"Speaking of family, that is actually why I called" I start.

"Oh" she gasps. "What can I do for you" she asks.

I try to find the words but it was hard. I wasn't sure what to say or what to do. But I know Hannah will help me figure it out.

"I want to purpose to Celeste soon but I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do right now. And not marrying her, I know I want to marry her and I know she wants to spend the rest of her life with me too. We're starting a family and making our way through this world together. My troubles don't come from her and I's relationship but the label that comes with it.

I know her feelings about marriage is a bit tainted. It doesn't mean to her what it once meant and there's nothing I can do to change that. I just don't want her to marry me because that's what I want. I don't want her to think this is going to be anything like what she's experienced. I want her to be excited to marry me, not scared that it'll all go to shit again.

But once Stella is here and she is working and I'm not playing until next season, I feel like that would be a great time to plan our wedding even if it's a little soon. If that's what she wants" I sigh.

"Oh son, you shouldn't think for a second my daughter doesn't want to spend forever with you. She knows what a bad marriage is like and she knows that you wouldn't ever let any of that happen. She knows what to do and what not to do. Though her memories of marriage might not be what all it cracked up to be I also believe that you are the one person who will change her mind. I know she might hate what happened ever since she said "I do" to that man but not the marriage itself. The idea of being with you forever, sharing the same last name as you and your daughter, that's far stronger than her uneasiness of her first marriage" she assures me.

"I know one day we will be happily married. We talked about moving out to Florida and living ocean side, take the kids to the beach every day. Of course we could come back to Chicago and come steal you all the time. But that feels more like a distant dream than anything" I sigh.

"Can I ask why you want to marry my daughter" she wonders.

I just smile as I look around. "Sometimes when I'm out there playing and I'm far away from where she is I look up to the sky. I see the stars and I remember that even though we're not together we sit under the same sky. We admire the same stars and that is good enough for me. Even though stars are far away, even though she is far away, I still see them. Feel their presence. And I can't take that for granted. Because there's people who can't see the stars anymore, some people who never even find them in the first place. But I found her like the Greeks found constellations. And I don't ever want to let her go.

Marrying her won't change much. We live together, vacation together, learn each day just where we belong in this world. I wouldn't change a thing, except putting that ring on her finger so she knows that true love is real in her parents and in us" I say.

"So what I am hearing is that you are head over heals in love with this woman and she is just as infatuated with you. She's having your kid and you guys have plans for the end of time but you're scared that marriage isn't what she wants" she asks me.

"I don't know" I sigh. "I know what we have is real but I still worry."

"Worrying just makes you suffer twice" she tells me.

"Don't I know it" I scoff.

"I can't tell you what to do son. I'm not you and I'm not Celeste. I don't know the things that you two know but from what I can tell you sound like your married already. Don't look at marriage as a problem or it will be. Look at it as getting to do the things you've already done and that you love but as something bigger than you were before.

If you want my honest advice, do what your heart tells you no matter what your brain is saying. Because when you speak from the heart like you just did there is no denying that you two won't be married. But if you let your brain trick you into thinking that something could go wrong it will.

Trust in yourself, just as Callie trusts in you and it'll work out" she promises me.

I let out a sigh as a smile crawls on my face. "Thanks, mom" I say as she chuckles.

"Anything for my favorite son" she assures me.

We hang up and I toss my phone onto the bed. I fall back and lay down. It try to organize my thoughts but they seem to go around and around. I just wish I could talk to Celeste but that ruins the surprise. I wanted to wait until the baby was here and things slowed down. Then I'll have a better chance of getting my head on straight. But I appreciate what Hannah had to say and she's right. I just gotta listen to my heart and not my head and I'll be fine.