Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.12. A Day In The Park

Anthony

Since the only places I can be with Celeste are in places James would never think to look for her I decide to take her to a local park. And not a fancy park or the bean, just a park. The one like she tells me in the stories of her childhood. No one would think to find a professional baseball player and the wife of the most famous athlete around in a park. So that's where we will be.

"I couldn't tell you the last time I've seen a swing" she laughs as we arroach the playground. There was about three families playing here but no one payed us any attention. They have their family fun time in the sun and we enjoy this beautiful late June day.

"Honestly me neither. But my brother has a little boy and every time I see him we go play at the park back in Florida but I never get on the swing. He is the cutest little kid I've ever seen" I admit as she smiles.

"Do you have a picture of him" she wonders.

So I pull out my phone and pull up family pictures. I find one of me and him after we won the World Series last year making her smile grow.

"Look at those curls" she coos.

"He's a lady killer. Though he just might be the sweetest kid ever. Says please and thank you for everything and loves to share. He's a sweetheart" I admit.

"That's the best way to raise a kid" she admits.

"What about you? Do you want kids" I ask her as I tuck my phone away and she freezes. Her eyes turn stormy as her smile darts off her face.

"I did" she replies coldly.

"You don't anymore" I ask.

"I still do. More than anything I would love a kid. But I don't think I can bring a child into this world knowing I can't give it everything I want to. Not in the situation I'm in" she claims.

"You're 26 Callie, your future is just as important as his. And he's not the one that would be carrying and nurturing the kid. No you shouldn't have a kid if he doesn't want one but if it's something you want that is defiantly something that needs to be discussed" I try.

She goes complete cold as her eyes well up. She wipes a tear away as she shakes her head. "That doesn't matter anymore. What about you? You want kids" she asks obviously not willing to talk about this. So I let it go for her sake, but I add that conversation to a list of things that sets me off.

"I would love kids yes. I think I have matured enough and created a lifestyle that could properly support kids. I just need to find the right partner" I admit.

"And who would you want mothering your children" she asks me.

I just smile because if only she knew. "I would want her to be sweet, strong enough to love when it is hard to love. She would hold it down so whenever I'm away I wouldn't worry for a second she couldn't handle it. But I would still be there by her side through as much as I can. I might miss first steps or first words but she would capture every moment and share it with me. I would want her to know how much I appreciate everything she does for me and our child, she would be treated like a queen so our princes and princess will grow up happy. Our child will only know a life of happiness and strength through triumph of the hard moments in life.

Most of all I want her to be brave, for our kid will grow up and watch her and be just like her. They would be close like you and your mom and that love they have for one another will never waiver" I say.

A tear slowly drops to her cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I softly turn her chin so she was looking at me and she seemed so sad. "Did I upset you" I ask.

"No, not at all. That's just... what you said was beautiful. That's all I want from this life, to be that mother and that wife but every time I try I-" she starts.

"You would be that mother. I know you would be. I look at how you take care of your mother, what you do to keep her alive and it's all any mother wants. And you know this. You would be a wonderful mom" I try.

A sad smile crawls on her face as she lets off a sigh. "Maybe one day I'll be there. Maybe one day I can finally have something that no matter what will love me. Something that I can hold in my arm and love unconditionally even though they can't talk or understand me. Something" she sighs.

"Have you tried getting a dog" I ask as she sniffles the tears away.

"A few times yes but I don't want to be taking care of it by myself. Though it would be nice to have something within those walls that needs me as much as I need them" she admits.

"Maybe I can have a dog and you can come visit it" I try.

"And what do I tell James when I keep coming home with dog fur over and over when I'm supposed to be getting my hair done or my nails done" she accuses.

"I don't know, the stores has a pet they keep there" I shrug.

"All with the same hair" she giggles.

"I haven't worked out the details okay" I admit.

"If you get a dog I'm not sure how I'm going to leave you. It's hard enough as is" she insists.

"Maybe you don't leave" I try.

"Anthony..." she warns.

"I know I know. I just figured I would try every once in a while and maybe one of these days I'll get past those walls of yours" I insist.

"That'll be the day" she sighs.

"Why don't we go play in the park for a little, for old times sake" I offer.

"I was hoping you would ask me that" she smiles.

We get up off the bench and head straight for the swings. We both hop on and this was a lot harder than I remembered it. But once my legs get going I begin to swing them soon enough I was flaying. I see Callie's hair flaying beside me and I smile. Her infectious giggle fills the air as for the first time in a long time she felt innocence and fun. It warmed my heart that all it took for her to be happy was to go to a park. Something you take for granted as you get older. But a lot of her best memories were in parks and being here reminds her of that. Maybe now she can even make new memories, ones that aren't filled with darkness but rather the light.