Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

Epilogue

Celeste

When I was a little girl I used to look up to the sky and stare at it for hours. I never felt lost in all that space, I always felt right at home. I didn't feel so alone because my skies were always painted with stars. Especially when you're young it feels like there's millions of them out there shining for me to admire. And they always did, my mom told me my dad was up there just for me. I used to wonder when I got to be up there with him. When did I get to become a star?

As I got older I figured out that my dad wasn't going to come down from there and I wasn't going to see him. I wish like hell I could go visit him up there. But that's a one way trip and it wasn't my time yet. It shouldn't have been his but stars are unpredictable. You never know when they burn out, when that supernova explodes.

So life shouldn't be spent on earth trying to get to the stars. Our life is here on the ground, but it's okay from time to time to look up and wonder. Think about what it is like to cure people of darkness they feel.

If you're lucky like me, you live with your head among the stars. And it wasn't always like this, for the darkness that surrounded me seemed impenetrable at the time. I never thought I would see the light again. But sometimes all it takes is a small spark to ignite the sky. For me that spark was meeting Anthony on a day I was at my lowest. He lifted me up and now I play with the stars.

After we got married we moved into a house inside of Wrigleyville and I had our son Caelum which means "stars in heaven." The boy is a riot, somehow picking up his dads sense of humor from the start. He's always on the go and where Stella was calm and collected he... he was all over the place. But I love my little firecracker. He keeps me on my toes and I would chase him anywhere. Always seems to have the funniest moments around the house and is always in the middle of everything. I wouldn't change him for all the money in the world. And recently I had another girl, Aster. She was still in diapers but she was fierce. A star for sure with how powerful them little lungs are. She's going to be a singer, or maybe a yeller. I don't know. Whatever she decides she wants to do she's going to do it with more strength than most.

It's been 6 years since Stella was born, 5 years since Anthony and I got married and 3 years since Caelum was born. It's been quite a ride, I'll tell you that much. Lots of baseball, lots of visits to grandma and grandpa and trips around the world. Anthony and I make sure we give our kids the best life we can. And a good life isn't a easy one. Caelum still cries when daddy leaves for work and I am still figuring out how to raise three kids by myself at times. But at the end of the day I look every single person in our family in their eyes and tell them I love them. And I mean it. Because this little family is everything I prayed for.

"Mommy where is my glove" Stella asks as we look around her room. We were running behind per the usual but what's new?

"It's in your bag already baby. Your bat and socks are in there too. Change into your t-ball uniform and tennis shoes and we'll leave" I insist.

"What about breakfast" she asks.

"Eat in the car" I beg.

I leave her to figure her life out and I grab Aster. She had on her Cubs outfit and a cute little bow. Stella never let me put bows on her as she would knock them off  the second I let go but Aster didn't even notice them half the time. Anthony rounds up our human pogo stick and we load up the car. We head to the nearby park and settle in for Stellas t-ball game. She was insistent on trying it out this year because she wanted to play like her daddy. So Anthony has been trying to coach her, he doesn't want to be hard on her but he is still a competitor. He's instilled that same drive into her and she's picked up on it well. She was the best player on the team which isn't saying much. But if we can get through this season without her giving up on it I don't see why we don't put her on a team without a t-ball stand next season.

Anthony and I sit in our lawn chairs that sat next to each other. He holds my hand as we chill out in the shade. It's July now and he was in full swing but he insisted catching a few games. I always loved when he was with because Cae behaved better when he knew dad was around. But the little man was playing at the playground and I had Aster sitting on my chest just sleeping the day away. We had it down pretty good now.

"What should we do for Stellas birthday this year? She's going to be the lucky number seven" Anthony says.

"She's going to ask for a new brother" I giggle as Anthony laughs along with me.

"I think we're good with Cae being the only boy. I don't know if we can handle another one of him" he admits.

"Aint that the truth" I agree.

"Why don't we go to Disney? She's been dying to go and I think she's old enough to enjoy it now" he says.

"I'm down. I haven't been to Disney in a long time" I admit.

"Perfect. We can start planning now and it'll be a surprise on her birthday. We won't tell Caelum either because he's got a big mouth" Anthony mumbles.

"And he gets it from you" I smile.

After wasting the day away in the sun we round up the kids and head home for a little. We had a nice backyard for them to play in and pass time until the Cubs game tonight. I make us some lunch and try not to lose my mind.

I feel Anthony's arms wrap around me and I smile to myself. He softly kisses my neck as he pulls me into him.

"How are you" he whispers in my ear.

James got released from jail a few days ago so it's been a long week so far. I knew he wouldn't serve all 15 years but a girl could hope. He stopped sending letters eventually but he's already tried to get in contact with me since he got out. But I went straight to Anthony this time around and he helped me not let this consume me. He was barley a thought in my head anymore. And it's impossible to avoid the news of his release, it isn't hard not to think about him. I had everything he was supposed to give me but I got it all on my own without him. He is now unemployed and unappreciated because of how he decided to act. And I have the greatest love I've ever known and the three most beautiful children. And he has nothing.

"I'm good, actually. Really happy that I get to spend these long days with you" I admit.

"You know our five year anniversary is coming up" he reminds me.

"Yeah" I smirk.

"I was thinking we can go somewhere cool, like Japan. I know you've always wanted to go and it could be nice to ditch the kids for a little and be together" he suggests.

"I think that's a wonderful idea" I admit. I always hate leaving the kids but any good relationship needs something like this in order to make it.

"Perfect. I'll let my parents know and we can make some plans" he claims.

"Sounds good to me. I can't wait to have you to myself again" I say.

"And I can't wait to show you all the reasons you and I are meant to be" he whispers in my ear.

I guess that's just celestial Love.