Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.65. Now That I See You

Celeste

April comes to a end and I was starting to feel like a natural at the whole baseball girlfriend thing. I get a good groove with school and watching Anthony and staying in contact with my mom and my friends I'm making. It's a lot to keep up with but a busy life is a good one.

But the crazy schedule was starting to wear on me. I was constantly tired and got this killer headache worse than I've had in a while. And the fatigue feeling isn't a new too me, but the shine from my new life can only do so much before I got to spend a few days in the shade to recover. So instead of being on the go all the time I take the day off. All my school work was done and Anthony had a rare off day so we stay inside the apartment. We were going to watch movies all day and let our brains and bodies rest for once.

"What movie should we watch" he wonders as we look through our options.

"Escape Room" I cheer as he lets out a long groan.

"Why do you like all those thrillers? It's not good for your heart" he claims as he brings it up on the screen.

"I like the feeling of suspense. Even if I know what's going to happen" I admit.

"Fine. But I'm picking the second movie" he claims.

"Fine" I smile.

He turns it on and I pull him into my side. Anthony wasn't a fan of the jumps and scary things in movies. He was more of a romcom kind of guy. But I liked the feeling of all your senses being in suspense. Your heart rate going a mile a minute and all of that stuff. It's like being on a roller coaster without going on a roller coaster.

After two hours the movie was over and Anthony digs his nails out of my sides. I grab us some snacks as he picks out the second movie. I come back and see Tangled pulled up. Anthony smiles up at me as I shake my head at him. This was his go to movie and he wouldn't tell anyone that. But we've seen this together countless times so I can't imagine how many times he's seen it alone.

"I should have known" I accuse.

"What?! It's a guilty pleasure" he tries.

"Not guilty enough to watch it at least once a week" I joke.

"Alright fair enough" he chuckles.

I crawl back into his embrace as he holds me close. I rest my head on his shoulder because my head was still pounding. And I've had headaches before, I've gotten the ones that come with not eating, the ones from eating nothing but crap, the ones from not getting any sleep and everything between. I know I just gotta relax and it'll go away eventually.

We get to Anthony's favorite part of the movie causing him to perk up. I look up at him to see how he was going to react only to find out he was looking at me before then anyway. My heart beats harder as our eyes stay locked longer than usual.

"All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been

Now I'm here blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here suddenly I see
Standing here it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you."

I sit there and think about the lyrics, about this song. I realize that this was a really specific song to my situation. How I used to sit at home and look out the window begging to go out there. To be a part of this world I see and not the one I was trapped in. It was always outside looking in for me, I was never a part of something. Just a by-standard who yearned for something more. And the worst part was I didn't even know how bad it was, never thought about how much of life I was missing stuck in that stupid apartment. Like Rapunzels mom James told me that he loved me and that if I left I would know nothing her pain and I believed him.

It was only once Anthony was a part of the picture did the fog finally lift. He helped me see that there was so much more out there that I didn't see. I remember telling him that it was too dark for me to see anything when we first met. But at last, I saw the light. The darkness no longer consuming me because I had him. I had found my light.

"Why do you like this movie so much" I wonder softly.

"I don't know. I think a lot of it reminds me of you and I. And I'm not saying your a damsel in distresss, because Rapunzel could have always left the tower. She wasn't stuck up there by chains. Eugene didn't rescue her from the tower for she got out without his help. He rescued her from her thoughts, helped repair her broken dreams. And in a way that's what I wanted for you. Not to take you from James but for you to see you the way I do. And once you did the rest fell into place. And now I have something better than money or a castle. I have you" he smiles.

"All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in a blur
All that time never truly seeing
Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything is different

Now that I see you
Now that I see you."

Anthony slowly slips his fingers into my hair and suddenly my head didn't hurt. He took the pain away and I don't know how. It's just a touch, just a feeling, I don't get how he can make my pain go away. Sometimes with just a glance.

But he did rescue me not from my chains to James or where we lived. He released me from the chains I put myself in as I stayed in that relationship. And once I was free, well I guess I got my happily ever after. Just like Rapunzel.

He placed a kiss on my lips and I melt in his hand. I know days like this are one in a million in this business. But the moments we shared are often and I'm so thankful we put time away to be with each other.