Celestial Love (Anthony Rizzo)

.19. Good News

Celeste

After the pregnancy scare my emotions were pretty high. James had no idea about it and honestly, he won't ever know. There's no baby, he got what he wants.

And now we were getting into the start of football season I was a little less restricted by the mental hold he had on me. James was more focused on the game and I don't get more freedoms because now I have to come to games and do media things and act like I have this life I love. And it gets exhausting but when he's gone at practices or doesn't want to talk to me on game days it's honestly the best days of my life.

This morning I go out and get my hair done. It was getting quite long and the ends were dead so I needed a cut. I stay away from the color because god forbid my roots show but I defiantly keep the style up.

So I get my hair done and treat myself to some new nails too. James wants me to look good all the time so he never complains about spending money on things like hair and nails and makeup. He will let me spend whatever I want on me to look good so I'm good with it.

As I walk around the city trying to avoid going back to the apartment my phone starts to ring. I see my moms number and smile so big. So I happily answer hoping she has a excuse to come see her.

"Hey momma, what's up" I wonder.

"Can you stop by the hospital" she asks me.

"Yeah, of course. Is everything okay" I ask

"Yeah. I just really want to see you" she claims.

"I'll be there in 20" I promise.

I drop my shopping bags off back at home and provide proof to James of my whereabouts before going to see my mom. She was all bundled up in her bed watching tv and I walk over to her. I kiss her cheek before sitting next to her.

"So, why am I here" I ask her.

"I have very good news and I wanted you to be here for it" she claims.

"Oh! I love good news" I smile.

"I had a meeting with my doctors this morning and the said that my cells are in remission" she tells me as I let out a loud gasp. My hands cover my mouth as I let her words sink in.

"No way! You started this treatment like a month ago" I insist.

"I know. But between the strength of the chemo I was going through mixed with the trial stuff it forced my cells into remission. I have to stay another month and Anthony assured me the transition from cancer patient to free woman will be done by the time I leave here. So next month I get to go home" she claims and I smile big.

"Oh mom I am so happy for you" I say as I wrap my arms around her. She was still frail but she wasn't getting out of this hug.

"I can't wait to leave. I wanted to see the city a little before I go home. See some of your favorite spots" she tries.

We break apart as my smile falls from my face. "I don't really have a favorite spot. Most of my time is at the penthouse or soilder field. Wherever James needs me to be really" I admit.

"What about favorite restaurant" she wonders. 

"I only really eat a James' friends restaurant" I shrug.

She just stares at me as she tries to put together the connect the pieces of the puzzle she has been collecting since she got here. She loved James but she loved me more, she knows something is wrong.

"Baby, answer me this. What do you do for fun" she asks.

"Watch tv or online shop" I admit.

"You don't have any hobbies" she asks.

"No. Not really" I shrug.

"And what foods have you tried out here" she wonders.

"I had a Chicago hotdog once. It was pretty good" I admit.

"Sweetie... that's not living. That's barley existing" she accuses.

My eyes fall to my hands in my lap as I start to rub them together. "I wanted a better life for you than this. You're my pride and joy, you're everything to me Callie. This is not it" she claims.

"I did it for you" I say softly.

"What are you talking about" she wonders.

I feel my heart thump against my chest with the thought of telling my moms these things. But she needed to know.

"James is a monster. He is awful, the worst person I know. I'm not allowed to like things he doesn't like, I'm not allowed to do things he doesn't think a trophy wife should be doing. Can't go to the zoo or aquarium or the park because there's no reason for it. I can't go to so many of the resurants because pretty girls don't eat that kind of food. I can only wear things like this where you can almost see my rib cage through it.

And that's not the worst part. The worst part is the fact that he only helped you to have control over me. He acted like he cared because he knew that if he had you on his good side I would follow. I would do anything that man asks me to if that meant he helped take care of you.

But I'm lost. I'm so lost. I don't have friends because all the girls and thier boyfriends or husbands don't like James so they won't hang out with me. Anyone James thinks would hurt my image and any man I meet I'm not allowed to talk to.

So I sit in the apartment, watch interior designing shows and pray that you get better because whether I want to admit it or not he helped save you. I needed him to help and he did. I just had to give up a lot for that to happen" I tell her

She sits there stoic as she just stares at me. She had tears in her eyes as she quickly wipes them away. "I would rather you be free without me than trapped with me" she says softly.

"I'm not doing this without you mom. That was never a decision for me" I insist.

"And I promised your father that you would love this life we made for you. I told him as he got dropped into the ground that you were going to become a woman unlike anyone has known. This is not it. I love you so much but knowing that you put up with a man who doesn't deserve you breaks my heart, it really does. This is the kind of pain that this cancer couldn't challenge. Every mother wants what is best for thier kids, and for a woman like me who lost her only husband and is losing her only child this is awful to hear. Your happiness is important" she tries.

"You're what is most important to me" I argue.

"Well I'm going to be out of here and I hope this means you're getting away from him too" she insists.

"It's not that easy momma. There's no cure to what I'm suffering" I defend.

"You can't stay in a relationship that is slowly killing you" she argues.

"He controls everything. My money, my mind, my body. It's all him. What am I supposed to do" I ask.

She stays silent because she knew I was right. She knew what James means to this city and my part in it all.

"That's a shame, I really like that Anthony fellow" she claims and I smile.

"I like him a lot too" I sigh.

"I know. I can tell" she accuses.

"I'm afraid that's all that will ever happen" I reluctantly tell her.

"I don't think that's true. I think real love will win this" she claims.

"So this is love" I ask.

"Just because love takes a different form doesn't mean it's not love. He cares about you more deeply than I've seen a man care about a woman since your father was alive. And feelings like that cannot be denied, no matter what you tell yourself" she claims.

"I guess we will just hav e to wait and see then won't we" I challenge.