Chapter 57

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December

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December

The Monday morning after our first outing as workmates was the busiest one I'd remembered. There wasn't time for Ollie and Darren's bickering. Victor and Mathis holed up in Victor's office, ironing out the details of yet another couple of projects we had been lucky to get.

Fingertips typed on keyboards, creating a tap-dancing kind of rhythm, making it effortless for me to fall into the trap of my thoughts.

Yesterday, Ellie and I spent all day in our bed. I lost count of the times we moaned each other's names and worshipped each other's bodies. If that had been on any other occasion, I would've been ecstatic. Now, I wasn't. Making love should never be the means to get rid of guilt. While Ellie kissed me, whispering how much she loved me, I didn't doubt her words. They were genuine— just as much as her feelings. Yet, the nagging voice in the back of my head kept reminding me that our happy bubble would burst very soon. Secrets always found their way out, and it didn't usually happen on one's terms.

I hated the lack of control and the feeling of helplessness. It always brought back memories of the time when I was unable to do anything I wanted without facing my father's wrath. Perhaps I grew up too fast and stopped giving a damn too soon, while Ellie was a good girl who still cared about others' opinions and judgment.

While I was willing to understand her point of view and let her tell the truth when she was ready, there was something I needed.

I needed to be sure that Ellie would fight for us and our love when push came to shove.

I snapped out of my musings when Liam stopped by my desk.

"Are you done?" he asked, putting on his coat. "It's lunchtime, and I'm starving."

I nodded. "Let me grab my stuff."

Liam waited for me while I got dressed and took the bag with my lunch. Instead of going out of the business center, we headed to the roof. Ollie always said it would be the perfect place for a garden where we could go to relax on especially stressful days. For now, the top of our business center was almost empty.

A gust of wind hit me as soon as my boot-clad feet stepped on the cemented floor. I buttoned up my coat and sat on the smooth stone block. Liam took a seat next to me, shivering when the cold December air ruffled his hair.

"Maybe we should've stayed in," he said. "I thought it was warmer."

I shrugged. "It's okay; I needed air."

We said nothing for a while as we unwrapped our sandwiches and took a few bites. Maybe a dish of something hot would've been a better idea, but neither Liam nor I could afford to eat out every day. We made good money, but both of us needed to save.

"So," my friend said in a couple of minutes, "Sky and I talked."

"Good. If you want to go out with her, Tim can stay with us," I offered, taking another bite of my food.

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