Chapter 34

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October

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October

It was official: I turned into that girl — the girl whose insecurities made her doubt not only her worth but also the feelings of the person who proved his love for her day in day out.

As I balanced in a hammock in the shade of the trees with too much time to think, I realized something was always holding me back. I doubted whether my works were good enough and kept a low profile in class, afraid to stand out and feeling uncomfortable because of being the only scholarship student. I hid from Aiden instead of showing the Lexi girl he was mine. Sky wasn't the only one with issues, after all.

Aiden's phone vibrated by my side. It was the third time Jimmy's smiling face popped up on the screen, and I finally decided to accept the video call.

"You're not Kennedy." Jim smiled, seeing me instead of Aiden.

"Hey, Jimmy. He left his phone and—"

Jim squinted at me. "Don't tell me you two had a fight."

"Unfortunately, we did. I've seen that you called a couple of times. Did anything happen?"

"All is good. I just wanted to tell Aiden he'll get paid for his lyrics. I thought I'd make you both happy."

"His lyrics?"

"The lyrics of your song. It's one of our hits. I couldn't pay him before, but I can now. He'd better not try to reject it. You know that Aiden is ridiculously humble." Jim looked at me for a moment, and then I heard him sigh. "Okay. Are you gonna tell me what went wrong in that paradise Kennedy took you to?"

"I think I screwed up, Jim. He went to the office, and some Lexi chick he apparently knew touched him and kissed him on the cheek. I was hiding, but he saw me. So, I did the jealous girlfriend thing. Aiden got mad and went somewhere to clear his head."

"Lexi..." Jim scratched his chin. "Fuck, that Lexi? Talk about a small world."

"Do you know her?"

"I might be wrong, but it can be the one who spent a summer in town where we lived years ago. She's older than Aiden, almost my age, in fact."

"His first, then." The realization made my voice tremble, and my eyes filled with tears despite all the pep talks I'd given myself over the last hour. "She's beautiful and older."

"She's got nothing on you, Ellie. Why the hell would you be insecure being the gorgeous girl you are?"

"I guess it's hard for me to think about him with her."

"Listen," Jim sighed, "it's different for us, guys. It happened years ago, and you can't blame him for what he had or hadn't done before he met you. If she doesn't matter to him, she shouldn't matter to you. Besides, he's done enough to prove he loves you, Ellie. Don't be unfair to him because of some teenage hookup of his. Just imagine it was you. Would you like Aiden to hold your past relationship against you?"

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