Consumed (H.S.)

Chapter 49

~Harry's POV~

The vast city of L.A. wasn't how I remembered it back when I was in college. It's dark and the colors are dim now, casted over by the clouds - much like how I look. Bags hang under my eyes, and I'm pretty sure shreds of my heart are floating around in the warm, damp California air. The hole engraved there was and will always be my fault.

I couldn't even fucking look at her when I backed out of my parents driveway. I'm such a fucking coward. I'm pathetic. I was just a tornado in her life and I destroyed her path, left her there in the debris of shards and glass.

Its been six months, technically my records are clean, so it was easy for me to get another job. The female eye of the school I'm now working for knows me. Actually they know every part of me.

But not like she does. They know Mr. styles, but she know me inside and out, every scar, every memory. And I just walked out on her without a real goodbye.

"You coming out tonight mate?" I'm pulled from my thoughts by my colleague Louis. He's also from England. He came here because he prefers California over living in the sister country of Alaska.

"Yeah, I'll be there." he nods, leaving my new classroom.

Since I've been here I've done nothing but sleep, eat, and work. This is the first night I've finally agreed to go out and actually try to free my mind of what I did six months ago.

I'm such a fucking idiot.

I've called and called and called, keeping up with how she's doing, but every time I check in it's the same answer. 'She hasn't been in, in weeks, Harry'. I stopped calling after the second month. Her phone has been disconnected, so what's the use?

I sat at Heathrow airport for two hours before they called me to board the plane. My head hurt so fucking bad and my eyes burned like I had been staring at the sun for days. I couldn't bring myself to turn back and go get her and tell her I was wrong. I am stupid. I love her. I still do. I was only thinking of myself and my job.

When I arrived in L.A. my parents had rented a condo on the west coast next to the beach. I couldn't bring myself to step on any beach for a few months because all it reminded me of was the first time we made love. How she calmed me and I told her that I loved her for the first time.

I've talked to Liam, but as of right now he's not so fond of me. Hell, neither are my parents. My mom is devastated still and my father... let's not even get me started.

I'm an idiot. I'm every name in the book. Most of all, I'm a walking dead man.

I'm just going to make myself even more miserable thinking about all of this shit. I'm going to let her move on from me, I'm sure she has by now... I won't ever hear from her. But as of now, she deserves someone better. Someone more worthy of her, her love. Someone who won't fucking leave her to fend for herself - to deal with the pain, but to be there for her, to comfort her.

Is she okay by now?

Fuck I miss her...

The next thing I find myself doing is texting Louis that I can't make it. I grab my jacket  from the back of my desk chair and leave, driving out to LAX.

(Eeep now you know how Harry feels. Guys I'm so fucking excited for the ending. I hope you guys love it just as much as I do. Eeek. But there you go. I hope to hear from you I LOVE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH!!)