One Thing Right -Sequel to The Best of Our Love(Colby Brock)

Chapter 17

-Brooke-

We stepped off the escalator, and within minutes my eyes landed on Sam and Kat--who was jumping in place. Colby took my backpack from me as I raced off in her direction, she began running as well, meeting me halfway. We collided and fell to the ground in an embrace, her hand cradling the back of my head. 

We're home finally. Hawaii was incredible, romantic, relaxing, and exactly what Colby and I needed. But we're both happy to be back home with the people we love. My heart felt a little lighter since the honeymoon began, and I hoped that meant I was getting closer to healing. But I know it's not going to be that easy. A few nights ago I broke down again about it. 

We had been seeing this one family consistently and coincidentally while we were there--the wife was pregnant with their 3rd child....

...

"It's a miracle that we were even able to have 1 child," The mom laughed a bit as I talked to her from the shore of the beach. "I've been struggling with endometriosis, and that caused a lot of pregnancy issues. I've had 3 miscarriages during the times I've been pregnant."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," I told her solemnly. "I just went through a miscarriage myself."

She smiled at me sadly. "It's not easy is it? I'm so sorry honey."

"How did you have the courage to keep trying?" I asked, changing the topic quickly.

"I knew one thing when my husband and I got married--I wanted kids. He did too. And we didn't want to give up on trying. I finally got pregnant with my first, and she was born happy and healthy. My second was adopted and well..." She put a hand on her stomach. "The third one is due in a couple months."

"Boy or girl?" I asked.

"Another girl. Only one boy it seems," She chuckled softly.

"Do you plan to have any more?" I asked.

"No," She shook her head. "I'm going to be getting a hysterectomy some time after this one is born. I...don't think I can handle anymore heartbreak. The endometriosis is getting worse, so this is my last option."

I nodded not really sure what to say. This women was brave...she didn't give up even after 3 miscarriages. I'm too scared to get pregnant again, I don't want to go through that heart break again. But she went through it 3 times. 

"Hey," She said sweetly, touching my shoulder. "Don't give up. It's scary, and that fear of losing something that precious is going to haunt you, but don't let the anxiety win. It's worth every second, I promise you."

I smiled at her a bit. "Thank you for the encouragement."

When Colby and I went back to our hotel I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I had with her. The words she told me, saying how it was worth it despite the pain--but to me it felt like a betrayal to the child I did lose. It never got a chance...

I was sitting on the balcony chewing nervously on my nails when Colby walked out to check on me. He sat down to my right and kissed the side of my head. I leaned into his shoulder. My stomach was twisting nervously about my thoughts and anxieties. Do I want to try again? Obviously not now but...do I want to risk that heartache again?

Tears flooded my eyes as I thought more and more about it. Memories of that night rushing back and how I can still feel the despair I felt then. 

I covered my mouth when my lip trembled. Colby's arm went around me and he leaned his head against mine.

"I can't," I squeaked out, leaning away from him and standing up. He watched me nervously.

"What is it?"