♪born this way♪

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"all right, guys. nationals are just a few weeks away, and it’s time to bear down. okay, your singing at regionals was amazing, but your dancing…it’s booty camp time," mr. schue announced. "so let’s get it going. five, six, seven, eight. push yourselves, guys. vocal adrenaline takes no prisoners."

finn smacks rachel in the nose with his arm, knocking her to the ground.

finn smacks rachel in the nose with his arm, knocking her to the ground

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"i’m so sorry," finn apologized, seeing her clutch her nose.

rachel touches her fingers to her nose, "i’m bleeding."

mr. schue picks her up, "let’s get you to a doctor."

rachel stood in front of the glee club with an announcement. cass leaned into her brother's ear, "five bucks says she's announcing her nose job."

"oh you're so on, she's too obsessed with streisand to do it."

quinn put the pieces it together as well, "oh my god, you’re getting a nose job."

"i'm… considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum."

santana repeated, "so, a nose job."

cass laughed, holding out her hand, "you owe me five bucks."

"look, i’m… i’m happy with the way that i look, okay? and o’ve embraced my nose. but let’s say i wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. like quinn’s, for example. i-i would never change my appearance for vanity, but, i mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for nationals."

mr. schue was concerned by her choice of words, "possibly? what about the risks? your voice is amazing as is, rachel."

"hold up," lopez interjected. "could we all just get real here for a second? i hear that rachel’s got a bit of a schnoz. i mean, i wouldn’t know because, like Medusa, i try to avoid eye contact with her. but can we all just stop lying about how there aren’t things that we wouldn’t change about ourselves? i mean, i’m sure that sam’s been at the doctor’s office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. i’ll bet artie’s thought about getting his legs removed since he’s not really using them anyways. and i’m definitely sure that tina’s looked into getting an eye de-slanting."

tina gasped, insulted, "that’s extraordinarily racist."

"i’m keepin’ it real."

"ok, miss boob job," cass hissed at her, earning a look of hatred from the latina.

tina snickered at cass' comment, "sorry, santana. i’m a beautiful person. i’m in love with myself, and i would never change a thing."

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