Kill me | Yoonmin

54 | Drowning feelings

Sorry this took longer than I thought
I'm spending my holidays at my mothers place and she just had to use my laptop to watch this movie from netflix
But here it is, the double update, part 54

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"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so so so so so so so sorry. Please don't hate me"

After Jungkook had walked away Yoongi had kept crying nonstop while repeating I'm sorry's all the time. No one really knew how to make it stop and they weren't going to. Yoongi deserved to keep apologizing at this moment. He had hurt them greatly. 

It had already went for few hours now and there still was no end to it.

So what did the guys do? What was the best option to do with all the sadness still in their hearts and with crying and apologizing Yoongi?

Drinking, they dragged Yoongi with them and went out to fill their heads with alcohol. Jungkook of course was missing. No one could get a hold of him. He wasn't answering anyone's calls or texts.

At this point no one cared if they would be underage or not, all of them just needed to drink their sorrows away. They all needed to get trashed, not caring about anything 'cause when the morning would come the reality would hit them again. Yoongi had hurt them, someone was hurting Yoongi but he was too scared to tell them who but at the same time he was too scared to lose them. They were cornered, they needed for Yoongi to make the first move towards them.

Alcohol in his veins and his head clouded Yoongi kept calling over and over again to Jungkook, apologizing over and over again, saying that he didn't mean to hurt him. Saying that he didn't want to lose his baby bunny brother.

"J-J-J-Jung-k-kooookh..... I neeedh you tho helf mih wiht evrything..... youh can'th yust leabe me...... youh arrrr thi only oneeeeee I can thalk abuut Jimininie....... I neeedh my bunnieh..."

Once again he was mumbling his feelings onto the phone while in was recording his message to the youngest. He could feel that he wouldn't listen them but he just needed to speak everything out of his heart. He needed Jungkook to know that there was nothing wrong in him. That every fault was in Yoongi himself.

Others were too drunk to understand what Yoongi was speaking, they were dancing or like Jimin and Taehyung, they had left already. Not wanting to see anymore of this excuse called sadness and not wanting to drink anymore. They had had enough. Jimin had gone home while Taehyung went to look for Jungkook, knowing he would be in their secret place that only two of them knew.

So when Yoongi rose up from the musty and dark leather couch of the bar no one even glanced at his direction. The phone still in his hand he walked out of the bar and started his long walk to Jimin's place, still sending messages to Jungkook. The fresh air made his head a little bit more clearer but not much. He didn't understand what he was doing but he definitely would remember this.

(Next one is a long voice message and I don't have the energy to change it to drunken style)

"Koooookieeh......... You know how you keep asking over and over again who it is that hurts me? I know him, well duh of course I know but so do you, so do all of you guys. But I can't tell you who. I don't want him to hurt you. Not any of you guys. I don't want you in the middle of it so I'm really sorry that hyung is disappointing you bunny but I just can't. I don't want to see any of you with bruises. Don't worry I will take the pain for you guys. I will take the hits and punches so that none of you guys have to. I know he would hurt you guys badly if I told anyone and that is what I'm fearing, seeing him do the same things to you guys. I just can't it hurts. Right here. In my heart. It hurts too much. Do you understand what I'm giving up just so that none of you will get hurt. I will give up on our friendship and have to look you disappointed and disapproving faces while I hide everything. I had to turn Jimin down just so he wouldn't get caught in the middle of it. ANd FUckiNg Hell I lOve JImIN. I'm just feeling so bad right now. How long will I survive? I want my Jiminie, I want my best friends and I definitely want my bunny brother so just please hang in there. For me? I just need it. Love you. Hyung."