Weaknesses Can Be Strengths (Ivar The Boneless Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-Six

I wasn't ready to give birth.  I couldn't do it. I can't in a time like this. But Berit brought me into a room where many slaves were there to aid. I laid on a large heap of furs.

I had to wait, I wasn't fully ready to give birth. I was starting to feel an immense amount of pain though. The contractions were occurring closely together and were becoming more intense. The drums harmonized with my cries.

I battled over not wanting it and running away with her. I didn't want her to live in this world. She didn't deserve it. I didn't want her to hurt.

"I don't want it." I tell Berit in tears. I had a sweet slave put a cold washcloth against my heated skin.

Berit put a caring hand on my knee. I looked up at her, she had a soft expression. "I know you are worried for your child. I've worried over my children, but you have to remain strong and have faith in the gods that they know what they're doing. They made you fearless for a reason. This child may help you during this dark time. Everything has a reason."

"This world will only hurt her." I croaked.

"Not when there's a mother to make her strong." Berit said gently. "Look at me." She ordered. I do. She had a stern look. "You are going to make a fantastic mother. You can raise this child and she will be filled with love and kindness. She may be a part of Ivar, but she's a part of you too." I needed to hear those words.

I nodded my head hesitantly. I began to feel a strong wave of contractions. "They are getting worse."

Berit quickly checked and poked her head up with slight giddiness. "Its time. You're fully dilated. Give me a good push, Halfrid."

I squeezed a poor slave's hand as I push with all my might. Sweat poured down my face, I was feeling shaky and weak.

I felt like the pain would never end. I wanted to give up. I felt like I was going to die and I was okay with that if it meant the pain would end.

Ivar's POV

The woman we sacrificed went up in flames, it was incredibly satisfying to watch.

I noticed a frail slave of mine pushing through the crowd with panic in her eyes and blood on her tattered dress. She went up to a guard keeping the crowd at bay. I felt my heart beating fast, why was the slave covered in blood and who's blood does it belong to? Is it Halfrid? Is she dead?

The guard then nodded his head and let her passed. She ran to the platform. I looked down at her as she came to my side.

"What is it?" I asked roughly.

"Queen Halfrid has gone into labor." She shouted hastily.

I felt my heart beat against my ribcage in excitement. "THE GODS HAVE SPOKEN!" I shouted to the crowd. They went silent to hear my words. "THE GODS HAD THANKED ME BY GIVING ME A CHILD!" the crowd erupts.

Hvitserk's eyes opened wide and he ran from the crowd as if it was his child that was being birthed.

Halfrid's POV

"Come on! You can push, just give me one hardy push." Berit cheered.

"I cant!" I cried.

"You can, just push." Another slave cheered.

I tried to regain my strength and push. I heard a relieved laugh from Berit. "There's the head! One more strong push!"

I drew a deep breath and push as hard as I could and I felt the being slip out and break into loud cries.

"You did it!" A slave smiled. "You gave birth!"

"Its a girl!" Berit announced. I was so exhausted and relieved that I broke into tears.

Some slaves cleaned up my bloody baby as I pushed out the last part, the placenta which was nothing compared to what I spent the last few hours doing.

My little baby was wrapped in warm furs and placed in my arms. She looked like an old man but she was mine. She happily drank some milk and no longer felt the need to cry.

She had my dark hair and my almond eyes but her iris was an electric blue. Her little legs moved which was a great sign. She made small sounds.

I couldn't help but cry at the sight of her. I loved her so much but didn't want her to hurt.

"What's her name?" Berit asked softly.

"T-Thora." I stuttered. "She is so tiny!" I chuckled at her tiny body. It was hard to believe she was inside me.

I almost forgot about the horrors occurring beyond my doors. I forgot about Ivar and his horrible acts. All the terrible things in this kingdom faded away at the sight of my small girl.

I just wanted to have her in my arms forever. I didn't want Ivar to come near her in fear he'd change his mind and demand she'd be killed because she isn't a boy. He was unpredictable and it grew worse as the days go on.

I'd flee if he demands she dies. I'd leave him in a heartbeat to keep my little being alive. I'd kill anyone for her.

"Thora, this life is cruel. But I promise to prepare you for this world. You will be a warrior and be favored by Odin. You will do great things." I spoke softly to the small girl. "Just know that you don't have to be cruel to gain respect. You just have to be yourself."

The doors push open and I hear a crowd of laughter from rooms away in the great hall. Ivar limps in with a strong presence.

Ivar stopped in place as the sight of the baby in my arms. He started to tear up, it was a great relief.

"C-can-" he stuttered. He couldn't get the words out.

"Her legs work." I smiled.

He broke into even more tears and dropped to my side. He kissed my head repeatedly and looked down at our daughter.

"What's her name?" He asked curiously. At the same time Hvitserk ran in, ignoring his brother.

"Thora." I smiled. I looked up at Hvitserk. "Come here." I beckoned him forward. He got on my other side. Thora let go from my breast, showing her small face to the men in her life.

"She's perfect." Ivar kissed my head.

"You did great." Hvitserk smiled big.

I let out a weak chuckle as I fixed my night gown. My mother and father joined the party with wide eyes.

"Meet Thora, your granddaughter." I greeted my parents.

My mother started to tear up and dropped to her knees. She lightly touched Thora's soft hair. "She's perfect." She breathed.

Ivar kissed my head again, but I was numb around him. I lacked feeling as he kissed me. I was unhappy with him but I had to pretend to be happy.