Chapter Thirty-Four

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The more I spoke to people the darker the clouds got. Why was nothing working? Why is it so dark over Kattegat. It was more than the cold weather. It was starting to get warmer and yet nothing good happened.

I walked in my bedroom to see Ivar on the edge of the bed talking to Hvitserk who seemed upset.

"What is wrong?" I asked softly.

"Margrethe wants Hvitserk to kill me. Now do you believe me?" Ivar shouted angrily. "Halfrid, you will stay away from her!"

"Ivar, she's harmless! No harm will come to you or Halfrid or the baby!" Hvitserk shouted back with desperation.

"She is troubled, Ivar. We should take what she says with a grain of salt. She is not right. She was treated like an animal and her husband left her. She is a broken woman. But you are right that she shouldn't be trusted." I tried to talk out the best solution. "She should be watched closely, but we shouldn't kill her over this. Especially in her poor condition."

"Thank you, Halfrid!" Hvitserk sighed with relief.

"Don't thank me yet. You need to go rest and watch her." I said softly. He nodded his head and walked out. "Ivar do not kill her. I mean it." I growled. "I won't forgive you."

"She threatened me! If she threatened you she'd be killed in a heartbeat. Why don't you feel the same?" He growled.

"Because she's unstable!" I shouted. "She is gone. The old her is gone! But Hvitserk loves her. He deserves happiness, even if its with an estranged girl. Don't tear this one source of happiness away from him."

He takes his clothes off for bed. I go behind the changing screen and get into my nightgown. I was unable to see my lower half. I don't think I'll ever see my toes again. I put on the nightgown I made myself in England. That was such a happier time.

As I got in bed Ivar pulled me close. I noticed the shift in him. He wasn't the man I originally feel in love with. He was colder than ever. How could I being our child into this? The man I so deeply loved was so different.

He has only brought up more and more on how he is a god. He is not a man, he was more. I couldn't talk him out of it anymore. He thought he was like Odin.

I felt his hands on my stomach.

"I can't sleep like this." I sat up and placed several pillows around me, Ivar looked at me as if I was mad. "I'm uncomfortable, everything is uncomfortable!" I complained.

He still tried to reach for me in my pillow fort. I was still uncomfortable but didn't want to keep twisting about.

The next morning the news broke. Ivar did what I demanded him not to do.

"You monster!" I shouted with tears streaming down my cheeks.

He called for me but I stormed away. I went to visit Hvitserk who was torn. Ivar had three men kill Margrethe the same time I asked him not to.

After Hvitserk had a small funeral for her, I held him as he cried.

"I am so sorry. I didn't want this. I didnt want this." I cried with him. And he didn't let me go as the sun set. I stayed the night with him. Unable to face Ivar without punching him.

We sat by the warm fire as I did with Sigurd what felt like ages ago.

"What's happening?" I asked Hvitserk.

"I don't know. But nothing good." He sighed with a tear stained face. He was getting drunk to melt the pain away. I don't think it works.

"He was sweet. He was just a broken boy who needed love. But now... he's no longer sweet. He's only evil. But I love him." I started to choke on my words as I started to cry. "I have hope he'll come back and realize he's not invincible. I am not scared, of course. But I am worried for everyone he's going to hurt next."

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