Weaknesses Can Be Strengths (Ivar The Boneless Fanfiction)

Chapter Twelve:

I helped Lagetha build a defense. It involved digging up lots of soil. My fingers had grim deep underneath the nails. The only time I was able to wash up was when my beads of sweat made paths along my forehead.

My mother stood by my side helping move rocks from the diggers path. It really wasn't how I wanted to spend my days. I badly wanted to train and spend time with Ivar but no way would I be allowed to.

One particular day seemed more interesting than the rest. Ubbe came and approached Lagertha while one of our digging hours.

I grew increasingly curious and nonchalantly got closer to Lagertha to hear their conversation. I pretended to help move rocks.

"We are going to raise an army to invade England and avenge the death of our father. Will you come with us?" Ubbe asked Lagertha.

Torvi and Astrid stood closely behind her.

"Would you really want me to come with you?" Lagertha asked him.

"We will need all the help we can get. After all, don't you have a reason?"

Lagertha glanced back at the women behind her and I quickly looked towards the dirt. But I moved to a different spot to continue eavesdropping.

"I also have a reason to stay here.
I understand you are inviting other rulers to come and join your army. Don't you think some of them will be envious when they see the size and understand the value of this trading station?" Lagertha replied.

"It depends, I suppose, on what is more important to you." He replied.

"That's not worthy of you, Ubbe. I know what your father would have wanted me to do."

Ubbe started to leave. He looked up at the women. "Astrid. Torvi." He looked back at me- he clearly knew I was watching. "Halfrid." He quickly began to leave but I ran after him.

I grabbed him from his cloak, causing him to turn around in surprise. I felt bad touching his cloak with filthy hands.

"When was I going to be told you are planning to avenge your father?" I asked in a stern voice. I tried my best to stand tall.

Ubbe scoffed and gave me a soft grin. "Look, Halfrid. I know you want to come but I prefer that you do not come."

"Why? If Ivar can go then so can I!" I stomped.

"You're just a girl, Halfrid. The English could squish you like a bug."

"Take that back!" I ordered.

"I'm sorry." He said before walking away from me.

I tried to swallow my anger.

The next day I was given a day off from building the defense and I was to train for the day. When I had time to rest I went to find Ivar in the blacksmithing shack.

A man tapped Ivar on the shoulder and gestured towards me. Ivar looked in my direction and gave me a smile. "Hello, Halfrid. What brings you here?"

"I want to join you. I want to go to England with you." I told him bluntly.

"No." He replied flatly.

"You bastard!" I growled. "You need warriors. You can't afford to be picky!"

He pointed his axe at me. "I rather pick a bag of bones than you."

"Fuck you."

"That's no way to speak to me." He said in a soft angry voice. But I wasn't intimidated. That's one thing he found the most irritating, I was never intimidated.

"I am not weak, Ivar."

"I didn't say you were."

"You're implying it." I stated. "You won't let me go because I'm a girl."

"I won't let you go because you are you." He replied.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

He sighed sharply. "You are smaller than a mouse, Halfrid!" He blurt out.

"But I can still help you. Lagertha wouldn't of let me train if she didn't see potential. I took down a damn wolf! Your excuse is pretty weak compared to my argument."

He aggressively grabbed my arm- pulling me closer. "We'll talk about this later."

"Well I want to talk about it now."

Ivar looked behind him to see the man walked farther away. He looked at me bitterly. "You aren't going and that's final. I told my brothers you are the one person not invited."

"Why? I thought we were friends."

"That's why you cannot go." He replied.

I grabbed his hand which made him kind of uneasy. He tried to pull away, but I wouldn't let him.

"It would be an honor to fight beside you, Ivar." I told him honestly. "Let me prove to you that I'm not a burden."

He yanked his hand away. "No, Halfrid. I said no and my word goes." He leaned in closer, anger was written all over his face. "Now go."

I knew I wasn't getting anywhere so I did leave.

I went to the boys' cabin to find Sigurd. I was desperate enough to beg him for help.

He was outside cutting up wood. He gave me a dirty look, he did not want to see me at all.

"Sigurd-"

"Ivar isn't here." He replied coldly.

I bit the inside my cheek. I looked down at my hands. "I came here to talk to you."

"What do you want then, I'm busy."

"I know Ivar said I cannot join you. But could you make him at least consider it?" I asked.

"Ivar does what he wants. He won't listen to me."

"I want to go. I can help." I tell him.

He looked down at me with fury in his eyes. "Want to know why you cannot go?" I nodded my head. "He wants you here where it's safe, so when he's done avenging our father and is recognized as a warrior, he can crawl up to you and ask for your hand in marriage."

I let a nervous laugh out. "Ivar doesn't love anyone."

"Except for you and mother."

"Sigurd, he doesn't want to marry me."

"Why else does he kill anyone who gets too close to you? He wants to keep you his." Sigurd explained.

"He might just want to make sure I stay his friend." I suggested.

"He wants to make sure that skirt doesn't get tattered by hands."

"Perhaps if he thinks I've found someone, he'll let me go."

"That'll only make him want you to stay here even more."

I growled and stomped away. "Thanks for nothing!"

Sigurd ran after me and grabbed my arm. "Wait, wait!" I turned to face him. He sighs and looks back at me. "I'll try to talk him into it."

I squealed happily and pulled Sigurd into a hug. "Thank you! Thank you!"

"You'll owe me, though."

"If you can talk him into letting me go, I'll give you almost anything." I told him before leaving.