“I’m A Monster” Of Mice & Men
Slowly. My movements were always slowly. They had been slow for as long as I could remember, which wasn’t much. I took the last few steps into the small bathroom. I turned, slowly, and locked the doors. My cold fingers brushing against the equally cold lock. There was a small click, heard thunderously loud over the silence.
I flipped on the light switch, a single light bulb came on overhead. I caught my reflection in the mirror.
My skin seemed colorless, hanging on to my bones. There was heavy bags under my swollen eyes. My lips were chapped and gray. My eyes, yes, my eyes… those were perhaps the worse. They were completely lifeless.
I stared at my reflection, brushing my lifeless hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ears.
My movements were all painfully slow.
My unblinking eyes met their reflection. The colorless orbs seemed to be infinite. I reached out a hand, touching the cool mirror.
Small, fat tears poured down my face. Silent tears that didn’t affect me. They simply rolled down, hanging on the skin that hanged on to the bones before falling to the dirty floor.
I sat there calmly.
I sat there as the tears rushed faster. As they came harder and harder. As they fell down as if they were trying to create an ocean.
An ocean in which I would drown in. An ocean where I could swim and float and be peaceful before death. An ocean where I could slowly sink into and become part of. An ocean where I could get lost. An ocean where I could cry endlessly.
With each tear a new emotion spilled out. An un-shown emotion.
There goes happiness… (gone long ago).
There goes sadness…. (ha).
There goes sympathy….
There goes anger…
There goes bitterness…
Every tear, every emotion. All leaving. Leaving like everything else.
It was lovely and horrible all at the same time.
I sat there as the reflection pulled at her hair. As it pulled at her skin, turning it red. As sobs racked her body. I watched as she wrapped fragile arms around her frame. As she cried into her knees.
All I did was sit there.
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