Malec One-shots

Final reading

Happy new years eve, everyone.

Magnus banged on the door to the Institute. For a moment, no one answered. He banged again. Louder. Heavier. Slowly the door opened. Mayrse was stood there. She’d been crying – he could tell. “Who called you?” She whispered.

“Clary…she said that, she said there was something wrong with Alec?” She nodded sombrely, and began leading him upstairs. They moved passed the doorway of Alec’s bedroom, and Magnus realised they were on route to the training room. “Clary was here a little while ago, but now Alec just wants to be on his own.” She said, stopping outside the door. “Go in, if you like. I’m sure Alec will tell you what’s wrong.” She stormed off down the hall. Alec did that, sometimes. He had the same powerful walk as Mayrse. He turned back to the door, and opened it. Alec was viciously throwing knives. It wasn’t in his usual controlled self. It was manic, and desperate. He couldn’t hit the target as often as he would have liked, and it made him angrier. Sweat and tears were dripping off him as he flung another knife. It was far off the target. He cried out, and went to snatch another one. Magnus strode across the floor, wrapped his arms around Alec, pulling him away from the wrack. “LET ME GO!” Alec screamed, trying to fight him off. Magnus pulled him onto a bench and forcefully sat him down. He stared at him for the longest time. Looking at him, Alec glaring back. He was still breathing hard. Magnus kept him there until he’d calmed down a bit. “What’s wrong? You’re never this angry. You’re never this upset.” Magnus said. It was true. Alec had very mild emotions. He wasn’t the one to go out and do this. “What happened?” He asked firmly. Alec looked at him, and a sea of tears suddenly washed away all the anger. He put his head in his hands, sobbing. Magnus held him, though in a state of confusion. He had no idea what to do. What to say to make it better, when he had no idea what was wrong. Alec looked up, and looked at him. He was so frightened. Magnus could see the fear rolling off him. He could see it in his eyes, in the way his mouth was set. He was terrified. His eyes were large and pleading for help.

He tapped the side of his head. “It’s a brain tumour. Brother….brother Zachariah told me…” he looked down. “There’s nothing anyone can do for me. I’ll be dead before the year’s out.” The words hit Magnus like a bullet to the skull. His mind went dead. He just kept thinking one word over and over and over again. No. Not Alec. Not precious, sweet, caring, innocent, funny Alec. Not him. Dear Lord, please not him. Don’t make him go through that. Don’t end it like that.  he’s eighteen years old, don’t do this to him! He’d done the angels bidding his whole life, he didn’t deserve this.

Alec stared at him, his eyes brimming with tears. And they both just sat there. Magnus felt completely hollow and empty, as though his entire life force was sucked out of him. And it was. Alec was his reason to get up in the morning. If (no, no more ifs it was only a matter of when now) Alec died… he didn’t know how he could go on living. “Can’t…can’t Simon…make you into a vampire. You don’t have to die…” he whispered. Alec shook his head.

“If I became a vampire…I would still die. And this…this thing inside my head, it would still be there. I get headaches, such bad headaches. I don’t think I could bear to have it there for eternity.” He said. Magnus opened his mouth, and shut his eyes tight. Alec squared his jaw. “I…I can’t fight anymore. The Clave won’t let me go out on missions anymore. I can’t…the only thing I was, the only thing I could ever do, the only thing I am…I can’t do it anymore. I am a shadowhunter. But that’s been taken away from me. This is going to kill me, and its already done so much to destroy me.” He sat very still. “They say that every death is honourable…in the Nephilim. But this is…this is pathetic. Whilst Jace, and Clary, and Isabelle…mom and dad, they’ll all die protecting the world…I’m going to die weak and frail and confused in bed, far from the battlefield.” He closed his eyes. “I don’t want to die like this…” he moaned. Magnus pulled him into a hug. He wanted to tell him he didn’t want him to go like this either, but it wouldn’t do anything but make Alec worse. “Do you want to go somewhere to talk about this?” Magnus whispered. Alec nodded,

“I want to go everywhere before I go.”

And that’s when Magnus decided he was. He was going to take Alec and whoever Alec wanted with him everywhere he wanted to go. To do everything Alec wanted to do. He couldn’t let him die feeling like he’d failed his purpose, let him die thinking that he hadn’t done anything. So when it finally was time, and Alec was back at the Institute, lying in bed, the headaches so bad he could hardly think, his sight having failed him, with Magnus by his side. They were waiting. It would be hours now. Maybe he’d last the night. Magnus picked up the book on Alec’s bedside table. “You were reading Lord of the Rings?” He asked. Alec smiled weakly.

“Lewis gave them to me…I didn’t finish The Return of the King…” he whispered. “I suppose I’ll die with one regret then.” Magnus flicked through the book, finding the bent in corner Alec had marked his place with. “I think I can read you the last chapter or so, if you want.” He said. Alec smiled in his direction. His eyes milky, and distant. “That would be nice…” he murmured. And Magnus began to read. He finished the book in the early hours of the next morning, and a few hours after that, Alexander Gideon Lightwood was dead.

And only then did Magnus allow himself to weep at the unbearable separation and loss he was feeling.