The Dead World I Live In

The Dead I Give Life To (Chapter 6)

When I woke up the following morning, the first thing I expected to happen was the overwhelming guilt to hit me like a wheelbarrow of bricks. So when I opened my eyes, and looked at Kain sleeping silently (not to mention nakedly) beside me, and the guilt didn’t hit me, I found it surprising.

I mean, not only had I just cheated on my boyfriend (who yes admittedly tried to rape me), I cheated on him with my best friends boyfriend, who also happens to be my ex. And, this was the ex who only a few days ago admitted to me that he loved me, outside of the room that contained my baby daughter who I’d only just given birth to at least 4 months early.

Wow, how complicated....

I rolled over completely to look at Kain, and once again, I felt no guilt or any regret whatsoever for last night. He was...Well....Amazing....

I stared at him beside me, and my face wrinkled into a grin. Huh, he mumbles stuff when he sleeps. I wonder if he’s having the same thoughts as me. I bet he’s not, he’s probably thinking what he’s going to eat for breakfast this morning.

I bet its cereal. He likes cereal.

“Huh..........gun.........Ava, stop that tickles.....uh uh uh I like it, more please....” Kain mumbled under his breath, still deep in sleep, and I buried my face into my pillow to cover my mouth. My whole body shook with silent giggles. Whatever I was doing in the dream he clearly liked.

Maybe it was that thing with his feet, he likes that. Or was it the other thing that I make his hands do, because he really seemed to go for that last night...

Eager to find out, I stopped myself laughing, and tried to remain still and silent to hear my lover boy reveal the rest of his sexual dreams.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh....” Kain let out a really long moan, and I could see that the covers seemed to be forming a mountain... Oh god!!! I squawked in shock, and quickly covered my mouth, laughing so much I was nearly wetting my pants. I tried to keep silent though, although now my whole body was shaking uncontrollably.

“More! More, please....Ava....More.........ahhhhhhhhh” Kain seemed to relax, and I saw the mountain fold back into the duvet. I bit my lip, smiling to myself, unable to think of what to say.

I decided then I wouldn’t ever say anything. This was my thing that I had over him, so if I ever was being blackmailed by him, I would have this as leverage! Result! I would never tell him what I’d seen or heard, it would be an unforgettable moment I would take to my grave, grinning as I did so.

I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to notice Kain had begun to stir, and I turned to look at his sexy body. Some of it (the good bit) was covered (darn), but his manly chest was exposed and I shivered in delight just looking at it.

“Morning sleepy head, are you enjoying the view?” Kain asked, mumbling slightly as he stretched his arms over his head. As they fell back down, he draped them over me, and I snuggled into him.

“Indeed, I often find the view of naked male pleasant in the mornings” I told him, and he wiggled his eyebrows comically.

“I bet you do!” Kain replied, and I giggled, closing my eyes and resting my head against his chest. He kissed my forehead, and I sighed in bliss.

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead”

A quote I’d read somewhere that the infamous Marilyn Monroe had said, and now I realised how true it was. I didn’t need Jesse’s lust, Chase’s ‘Love’, I needed Kain’s real love, unconditional and real and everything I’d ever needed or wanted.