Beside You - 5 Seconds of Summer

Chapter 16

Calum's POV

"Shhh shhh baby, my mum's place...." I squeaked, as we tried to get in a quickie in my mum's bathroom. Damn family dinners... Hate them, but trying to be naughty real fast in my parent's house, always fun... thank goodness for locks on doors, and birth control. Luckily she managed to stay pretty quiet.... so I thought, before we sorted each other out and I went down first, her using the rest room and cleaning up.

"You look happy." my sister said after I'd jumped down the stairs. "And when you're happy it means you've been doing bad stuff."

"Bad stuff?" I asked, with a laugh. "Like stealing cookies?"

"Yeah let's go with that." she said flatly, then changed the channel.

"Calum!" Mum called out from the kitchen.

"Yes Mummy?" I asked, going in.

"Come here," she said, stirring whatever it was she was cooking, her back to me.

I skipped over and hopped up onto the bench next to the stove. "Whatcha need Mama? Need me to taste test? That I will happily do."

"No... what were you up there doing with Jennifer? And do not lie to me. I'm not stupid. " she lectured.  I'm in trouble.... She's the only one in our family who spoke it, apparently goes way back in our heritage.

"We weren't doing anything; we needed to use the bathroom." I told her.

Yes she said to not lie but what I told her technically wasn't a lie; we did need to use he bathroom....just not for the reason's she thinks we needed them for.

"Calum Thomas Hood! Were you or were you not having SEX IN MY HOUSE?!" she shouted, just as Jeny entered into the kitchen, making her freeze in place and let out a tiny squeak.

I caught her eye over Mum's shoulder and she shook her head rapidly, mouthing 'don't you dare.' Great; I'm going to get killed by Mum if I say no and killed by Jeny if I say yes. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

"Calum..... she WILL go home right now if you lie to me, you WILL NOT see her till the start of the tour!" Mum barked.

"Yes we did have sex upstairs I'm sorry don't hurrrrt meeeeee." I whimpered, cowering from the wooden spoon in her hand. I heard the distinctive slap of skin on skin and saw Jen with her palm against her forehead.

Mum turned to face her and her wooden spoon was pointed at her. "I always knew you were a slut... how DARE YOU! In MY house?! You have no self respect!" my mother said, then a bunch of thing in Filipino I won't repeat, as she drew closer and closer to my girlfriend, trappign her against a wall.

I stormed over and stood between them, reaching around behind me to grab Jeny's hands. "Don't come any closer and don't blame Jeny for something that both of us are guilty of. She's not the villain here Mum."

"Calum!" Mum said, in shock I'd come to stand between them. I almost never challenged my mum.

Until now of course. Hmmmm maybe this is a sign I'm becoming a man? Maybe I'll start to grow a beard now? Alright focus Calum, focus.

"Mum, I understand you're upset, but we're both adults.... and I don't live here anymore.. if it upsets you that much JENY AND I will leave." I said, firmly.

"You'll do no such thing." she gasped. "This is family dinner night and it's the first one you've been home for in 3 months."

"Then start showing her some respect. Our intimate moment was done in private and quietly.. I apologize if it upset you, but we're adults and I refuse to stand her and pretend like us having sex is some kinda of horrible thing. And most importantly I refuse to let you stand here and speak to her this way Mama." I said.

Jeny's hands became disconnected from mine and they moved up to massage my shoulders gently. "Babe calm down, getting worked up over this isn't going to help." she whispered .

Fuck that feels good. I sighed and tried to relax, but Mum just nodded and back off. "I'm sorry, I just, you know how I feel about it Calum. I know you're an adult, but I'm still your mother. I guess that counts for nothing anymore." she said, going back to cooking.

I snuck a peek over at my brother and sister who were both wearing expressions like Ross and Joey were in that episode of Friends when Monica said 'if you're scared about a committed relationship then don't be in one' to Chandler.

"Mama, that's not what I said, I apologise for disrespecting your house. I promise, it won't happen again unless she and I get married." I promised.

"See to it that it doesn't or this will be stuck to your backside. PERMANENTLY." she threatened, waving the spoon at me again.

"Yes Mama." I squeaked. "I wubs you....."

She sat the spoon down and patted my face. "I love you to, now could you do me one more favour?

"What's that?" I asked her. "

Pull up your bloody pants. I know you like Calvin Klein but I don't need to see his name every time you move or bend." she smirked.

"Yes Mum." I said, pulling up my jeans with a soft smile.

There was a small whimper from behind me and sure enough there was Jen's pouty face reflected in the microwave. I went over to her and smiled, kissing her lips. "Awww baby, no worries, tomorrow morning you can see my Calvin's." I whispered.

"But I wanna see em now." she sulked.

"What the view you saw 15 minutes ago wasn't good enough?" I snorted.

"It was perfect." she smiled and kissed my lips, "Best view..."

"Then stop your pouting, you can survive a couple hours..." I said.

"Could you two stop canoodling and help me set the table please?!" my sister bellowed from the dining room.

"Yeah yeah." I grumbled and we went to help.

"So Calum, Jennifer, is there a wedding in your future? I married your father at 18..." Mum said.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stood there with my mouth hanging open like a gold fish. "Maybe, not right now but definitely maybe." Jeny said smoothly.

"Yeah someday.. not anytime soon Mum.." I choked out.

"What's the matter baby? You look like you've seen a ghost." Mum said to me.

"I just, well I don't." I began.

"Words like marriage, long term, and commitment scare him." Jeny chuckled.

"That's funny, I didn't realise my brother was Chandler Bing." Mali-Koa said in a smart-arsed tone.

"He is sadly, just not with as much wit." I joked.

"And not as much facial hair and you're not dating a girl named Monica and you don't have a boring arsed job that no one knows what it's called and you don't live with a chicken or a duck." Jeny rattled off.

"No actually that last part is true; their names are Ashton and Michael." I smirked.

"Ahhhh this is true." she chuckled. "Which is which?"

I stopped to think about it for a while. "I think Michael would be the duck, his hair's fluffy like a duck's arse."

"Oh I'm a duck, I go quack quack I'm happy all the time." Mai-Koa said under her breath with a chuckle.

"Ahhhh therefore Ashton would be the duck." Jeny said.

"Yeah he's way too overly perky sometimes." I commented.

"Yup." she chuckled and then we all sat down to dinner. Jeny sat beside me, her hands actually behaving all through dinner.

~~~~~Thank you to all my readers!!!! I am so blessed to log on and see like 17 notifications, most from @AmyLuvs5sos but still pretty awesome. So grateful. for all of you LOVE LOVE~~~~~