#6 :: Nothing Else Matters

Chapter 46.

Chanel.

Things have been good. A bit too good. I feel like something else is going to happen but I just don't know what. It was Shannon's birthday so I took her and the girls out to eat.

This was what we needed. Some bonding time with just us.

"Channnn... What's going to happen when you leave? Are we still allowed to stay? Is mummy going to come and take us?" Star asked.

"No baby. This is your home. I'll have my own place but I'll always come and visit. Depending where it is you guys can stay and go school and college from there some days as well. As for Jackie.. I don't see her coming out of jail for now. So no, she won't be taking you."

Jackie was sentenced to 7 years but may only do 3. She's also not allowed to have any children in her care for those seven years.

We didn't talk about her after that as today was Shannon's day. I asked her what she wanted to do as she was turning 16 but she said she just wants to go out to eat with us four. And we visited Megan's tree. Due to her body being burnt and disfigured we had her cremated. It was such a hard decision to make but it was for the best.

By the time we got home I was tired. I fell asleep straight away. When I woke up it was 12pm and I was annoyed I missed church but I guess I was really tired.

I decided to look at the plans for the children's day that we was having. The community was trying to change and give Kites a better name. We was reopening the youth club and a lot of the derelict buildings were going to be revamped into children's homes.

Mummy Lisa had got sponsored and within the next couple of years hopefully Kites would no longer be known for being one of the worst places to live in but to be the only neighbourhood that accommodates mainly for children in care. 

As I was looking through the stuff there was a knock at my door.

"Come." I said.

It was Lisa.

"Hey, you got a minute?" She asked.

"Yeah. Come in." I said making space for her to sit down.

"Erm.. Well. I need to talk to you and your sisters. I wanted to talk to you from yesterday but it was Shannon's birthday and I didn't want to spoil it. Then I thought about it and thought I should talk with you first and then as the oldest you can decide what you want to do."

"Lisa... You're rambling. What are you trying to tell me?"

"Chan... It's your mum..." Mummy Lisa said to me.

"My mum? Your my mum..." I told her as there was no way she was talking about Jackie.

"Your birth mum.. She's dying..." She said.

I looked at her. I didn't even know what I was feeling. I had no feeling. I felt numb. Was I supposed to care? Was I supposed to be sad? Why was she telling me this ?

"Chanel..."

"What?"

"Did you not hear me?"

"Yeah but why are you telling me this?"

"Chanel...that is your mother..."

"No. Nope. She hasn't been my mother in years."

"That's not the point! I know you're angry, I know she hurt you. But you ain't cold hearted. Look. She wants to see you. She wants to see all of you. She's in hospital."

"Hospital?"

"Yeah."

"She's out of jail?"

"Well no. She has a prison guard by her side. Apparently your mother has had cancer for some time. Once she got locked up she stopped taking her tablets and never told anyone. It wasn't until she started coughing up blood did she let them know she has cancer. I've been told she doesn't have long left."

"Let me go speak to the girls..." Was all I could say.

I went downstairs where they all were.

"Hey. Let me speak to you guys." I said to them.

"Can it wait? I'm on the phone." Shannon said.

"Shannon, cut the call. Don't make me cut it for you."

"Ugh. Gurl, let me call you back. My sister needs something." She said rolling her eyes.

"Okay so I was just talking to Mummy L. Let me ask you something. Did you know Jackie had cancer?"

"Cancer?" Shannon asked.

"What's cancer?" Star asked.

"Yeah. Cancer. Star I'll explain in a minute baby." I looked at Tasha. She never said a word. "Yeah.. So she has cancer and she.. Erm, well she's dying. The prison has her in hospital at the moment. Apparently she doesn't have long left. She wants to see all of us."

Tasha kissed her teeth. I was shocked.

"Tasha?"

"Yeah? She needs to hurry up and die."

"TASHA!!" Both me and Shannon said.

I looked at her. Something wasn't right.

"Tasha... Did you already know Jackie had cancer I asked her?"

"Yep." She said bluntly.

Wow.

"Huh? How? How did you know?" Shannon asked.

"I walked in her room one day and she was bald and taking lots of tablets. She screamed at me to get out of her room. Later that day she came to me and told me she had cancer but not to say anything. She said she would die eventually but until she's ready to tell everyone I must not say anything. This was a year ago. I begged her to tell Shannon. It was killing me knowing this and not be able to say anything. Then she was still being this bitch. There were days I wanted to take her tablets so she could die quickly. I wish I did. Because if I did then Megan wouldn't have died. I. HATE. HER!! We was doing fine! Why would she ask to see us? Why would she say something now? She wants to ruin us finally getting back on track! She wants to see us? Well I ain't going! None of us should! It's because of her why Megan is dead! I'm not going to see her. And you make sure you tell her everything I said." She said with so much hatred as she got up and left the house.

How did I not see that? Tasha was the quiet one but I never thought anything of it. But I guess we now know why. She's been made to keep quiet. Maybe she thought if she did speak then she would end up saying something! Because in the past 6 months. That's the most I have heard her say at one time.

"I hate her again." Shannon said.

"I don't want to go see her. Please, Chanel don't make me." Star said holding me tonight.

"I won't I won't." I said hugging them both.

I did say things were going too good didn't I?