#6 :: Nothing Else Matters

Chapter 42.

Chanel.

It's Christmas Eve; and even though I have my family under one roof I swear I was at the end of my tether.

This Shannon girl was getting on my last nerves. If this is what I was like at fifteen years old then I sincerely apologise.

"Shannon... Get up and clean this room."

"Later."

"No. Now!"

"Go away Chanel."

"Little girl I'm this close... THIS CLOSE to dragging you out of this bed!"

Shannon jumped out of the bed and into my face.

"What the FUCK do you want Chanel?!"

I lost it. I grabbed her and pinned her up to the wall with my arm in her neck.

"Who you talking to? HUH? Who the fuck are you talking to? WELL?! Oh... I can't hear you anymore Shannon! Talk up! Why I can't hear you no more?"

"CHANEL!!" I heard Mummy Lisa shout and drag me off her. Just as she dragged me I slapped Shannon in the face.

She held her face and started crying.

"YEAH CRY!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!! YOU HAVE BEEN A PAIN IN EVERYBODYS ASS THESE PAST 3 MONTHS!! WHAT? YOU THINK YOU THE ONLY ONE THAT LOVED MEGAN?! YOU THINK YOU THE ONLY ONE HURTING?! BITCH NO!! YOU BEEN ACTING UP AND ACTING OUT AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOUR ASS EVERYTIME!! SCHOOL WANT TO KICK YOU OUT... YOU ARE IN YOUR LAST YEAR! YOU HAVE A FEW MONTHS LEFT! POLICE HAVE BEEN HERE FOR YOU MORE THAN ALL OF US PUT TOGETHER SINCE IVE BEEN HERE AND THATS SAYING SOMETHING!! YOU KNOW THEY WANT TO TAKE YOU?! MUMMY LISA HAS BEEN PUTTING IN GOOD WORDS FOR YOU AND FOR WHAT?! YOU DO FUCK ALL HERE!! YOU ARE SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH!! CONTINUE SHANNON... CONTINUE AND ITS EITHER THEY GOING TO TAKE YOU OR IM GOING TO BEAT THAT ASS EVERYTIME YOU DON'T DO WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING!!" I said heated.

"Chanel calm down. Look, she doesn't mean it..." Mummy Lisa said because she was crying.

I looked at her as if she had grown two heads.

"She's crying because I finally put my hands on her. She's lucky. I could have done much worse."

"Fuck you Chanel! You ain't even been here! Ain't been here for none of us! That's why Megan died! If you was here that wouldn't have happened! It's YOUR FAULT!!"

If anyone else said that I would have swung for them. But hearing Shannon say it. That hurt.

"Is that wha you really think? Huh?"

"YES!!"

"So why did you come for my help?"

"Because you owed us that!"

"Wow. You know what... Fuck this." I said and left.

As I got outside I called Rico. Phoned him two times and he never answered. Don't know why I was surprised. Since university and getting a promotion at work I hardly see him.

Didn't want to call Yasmine because I knew she was with Tallz. They were spending the day together.

It was then for the first time in a while that everything hit me. You see the day I found out about Megan I haven't stopped. I haven't cried. I haven't grieved my sister. I can't. I just can't.

I had to be there for my other sisters. I had no time to cry. No time to be weak. Everyone wants me to slow down and to talk about what's going on in my mind but I can't. If I do then I won't be able to do what I need to do.