Emily.

Emily!

Denzel ignored me for weeks, and I usually stayed away from Nicole and him, and stayed in a separate room. I wanted help, I didn't want the family scattered because of me being like this. I wanted a family, and in my mind it was like a third person coming in and rearranging my life. I felt trapped and I kept seeing people in my minds, someone's there, around. I know it's real. It's not a lie. It's real.

It was 10 at night, I came out of the room and went to get some water, I stood leaning on the sink and drank it. I heard soft tears. I quickly turned around and saw Nicole standing there wiping her eyes.

“ Why don't you love me? Why do you hate me ma? I didn't nothing wrong to you, or any of y'all!” She cried harder. I sighed and looked down.

“I d-do!” I said quietly.

“NO YU DON'T!” She roared. “IF YOU DID YOU WOULD NOT OF SAID YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE ME! YOUR A HORRIBLE PERSON!” She screamed with more tears running.

“What's wrong Nicole-!” Denzel came down. She looked back and ran to him, I shed a tear, but quickly wiped it and held onto my stomach. Denzel picked her up and rocked her, and gave me a horrible disgusted look and walked upstairs calming her down. I put the glass down thinking, and sat down on the stool, he came back down with a bag and got his shoes.

“Denzel where you going-”

“SHUT UP AND SIT THERE INIT! I'M TAKING HER TO SOMEWHERE WHERE SHE CAN SMILE AND NOT HAVE TO BE AROUND A MOTHER WHO DOESN'T EVEN COME OUT OF A ROOM TO SEE HER CHILD 'COS SHE FEEL FLIPPIN' SORRY FOR HER SELF!” He shouted out and got the keys still holding her, she covered her face and they went out the door and slammed it shut. I just sat there staring at the door and feeling regret. I looked around and my eyes watered. I can't cry, it's my fault. I'm mad and keep believing these voices...

“You know your a bad mother don't you Emily.. I'm back....” they laughed. I jumped and turned around and gulped. Oh no!

“LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!” I shouted.

“You came right back into my arms this time. You know this is not your place, Denzel is not yours and I will always own you! Always!”

I pressed my ears together with my index finger and got up moving away, I started breathing heavily.

“You don't own me! You never have! I will always fight this!” I whispered to myself.

“Mmm that's what your mum said when she was a psychotic skitz! She drove you and your dad right to that premature grave! All that fighting, yes!” There was a giggle. “Don't get too comfortable with Denzel, he's never ever going to want you. I have them thinking you feel so sorry for your self, in fact I'll have your daughter and him hating you, and you can sit there rot! And DIEE-”

“NO! I won't let you get to me!”

“Look at you talking back to me, you believe in me, you know I'm here! You know it! Another relapse and a sure enough miscarriage”

“YOU CAN BURN IN HELL!” I screamed,m another giggle with an echo, and it left, a glass smashed, falling from the counter as the wind hit hard through the window. I rubbed my cheek and heard my own heart beat. I would not let anything ruin me, not after a whole 9 years of building up to what I am.

Not now! Not ever.

I lay there and kept a stern face, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to let that haunt me and make me that old mad girl from the past. I wasn't going to let something kill me. I heard footsteps and I snapped out of my thoughts, Denzel.