Queen of the Pirates

Recounting Time Apart

The view from a Marine warship is impressive, but nothing beats sitting on top of the Thousand Sunny with Luffy and looking out at the ocean spread out for miles in front of us. Since there isn't a figurehead here, sitting at the very front of the ship is the only option we have to get close to that feeling of being on the figurehead. It does bring that same feeling of being separated from the others on the ship. To know that we won't be bothered for a while until we are absolutely needed. It's even more amazing considering the ruckus that Buggy has drummed up.

The only problem is I don't really know how to start this conversation with Luffy. I'm itching to know what he went through while we were apart, and I'm sure he wants to learn how the hell I ended up with Blackbeard, but I can't bring myself to speak up quite yet. Both of us deserve some time to settle our thoughts before we dive into a long conversation.

It is strange to be able to truly sit and let my body relax after all that I've gone through not only today, but ever since Blackbeard stole me from the ship I was on. The second that I laid eyes on that devil of a man, I felt my entire body tense up, and I haven't truly been able to release that tension until now. There's always been a sliver off it in my body even after I was settled in Luffy's arms for the first time in ten days. I know that this feeling isn't going to last. That the second we make it to Marineford I'll be tense once again. We'll be thrust into a battle unlike any other we've been in before. I'm sure that not even Enies Lobby will be able to compare to what we'll be going up against today.

And it's all for my brother. When I think of Ace I can't imagine him chained up and being led to his death. I can't imagine a world in which he isn't out there chasing after his dreams like he's always wanted. To know that he's out there somewhere gushing about Luffy and me to anyone that will listen. To know that we could run into him like we did in Alabasta and catch up on everything that we've missed in each other's lives. There are still so many questions I want to ask him about our mother. I want to know so much about the woman that gave her life for us. I want to ask him so many questions about what it was like watching me grow up without being right at his side. I want to ask him if he ever revealed our sibling relationship to anyone in Foosha.

But above all, I want to know if he knows for certain who my father is. If I could just ask him if the blood he's hated for so long that runs through his veins also runs through mine, I'd feel a lot better about the decision I've already made in regard to it. Either I'll have been right the whole time since I made the decision, meaning I'll be able to finally declare that side of myself to the world, or I'll have been wrong and have to accept that my choice was based in what I wanted and not in fact. Regardless, I won't know anything without being able to ask Ace. I need to be able to really talk with him about so much, so he can't die today.

It's strange to think about the decision I made about who I claim as my father while sitting next to Luffy who has no idea about who I decided on. Luffy's always been the first person I go with any and everything, yet I've kept this from him for a long time. I'm not sure if I'm scared to tell him. If I think he'll be disappointed in what I decided. As if Luffy could be anything but supportive of everything I do. Or maybe I've just liked having one thing that is fully mine. That no one else knows but me. I'm sure that has something to do with me not having a lot of control in my life.

Still, I know that I don't want to keep this decision from Luffy much longer. He deserves to know this part of my life like he knows all other aspects of me. Just like I know everything about him that he knows about himself. If a moment allows, I want to tell him today before we reach our destination.

Until then, I'll just stare out at the sea knowing that each second that goes by is bringing us closer to Ace. That we aren't the only ones racing to his aid to save him from death. That the entire world is preparing to hear about a war because of the World Government's decision to execute one of Whitebeard's own. A war that we are heading straight for to participate in as well.