Queen of the Pirates

Heading to Galley-La HQ

"So, are you and Luffy like, fighting?" Zoro asks, breaking the silence before it can linger for too long.

"What?" I look at Zoro with wide eyes. "No. Fighting? What made you think that?"

"You stayed back with me," he looks at me. "Every chance you've had to go off with Luffy, you've jumped on it. Plus, you didn't exchange any words with him before he left."

I sigh, leaning my head back against the brick. "We're not fighting. At least, I don't think that we are. It doesn't feel like a fight, just a rough patch, and we're all going through it."

"I'll agree with that."

"I've never fought with Luffy. Not about anything serious, that is. I've been mad at him, but never for long. He's never acted like this before, and it does worry me a little bit, but that's not why I didn't go off with them today."

"Then why didn't you?" He's not being pushy, and I know that I don't have to answer his question. However, I feel completely comfortable with him more than I ever have, so I don't hold back my thoughts.

"Zoro, I had a nervous breakdown," I look up at him. "My brain turned against me. I couldn't think straight. I was shaking like I had taken a plunge in freezing water. All because of some yelling, and one of those people yelling was Luffy. Not to say that I'm now afraid of him. Far from it because I know he's not like the man that raised me. Luffy's one of the sweetest boys I know, but my brain refused to remember that in the moment. My love for him wasn't stronger than my fear of one man."

"So, you are fighting? Or you're at least mad at him."

"I'm not mad. I'm not mad at anyone," I look away from him. "I told Luffy that I'm not mad at him, so he has no reason to think we are. And we're not fighting. Luffy needs some space, and I don't want to cling to him during this time. All I'd want to do is try and cheer him up, and that isn't the best thing for him right now. I also don't want him to worry about me every time he looks at me. He's always done whatever he can to protect me, and this time there was nothing he could do. This will just take some time to process. Both our minds will clear, and then it will be back to normal."

"I don't think anything is ever going to be back to normal. That's not necessarily a bad thing either. We all need to learn and grown. Know that there are certain things that a crewmate can't get away with."

"We're also his friends, which makes everything a lot harder. Luffy has so much on his mind right now. He needs to deal with one thing at a time. We can worry about my nerves another day. He knows that I slept well, he saw that I was fine before heading off. I doubt I'll have another moment like that for a while. I can only hope that I don't."

"If you don't want to answer this next question, you don't have to, but what did Luffy mean when he said you were reliving the past?"

I take a deep breath, bringing one leg up to wrap my arms around my knee. "I don't think I've told you, but I'm adopted. I was adopted when I was a baby, so my adoptive parents are all I know. My adoptive mother died when I was around eleven, and then the man who raised me became a drunk. He threw a vase at me once, but Luffy made sure that he never did anything like that ever again. While nothing was ever thrown at me again, he did scream and yell all kinds of horrid things at both me and my adoptive sister. The house I lived in felt like a waking nightmare at times. I'd do anything I could to hang out with Luffy as much as possible. My sleeps were plagued with nightmares more often than not. I had already promised Luffy I'd set sail with him, so when it was actually becoming a reality, I've never felt such relief."